Brand New Day

Is Zara All That?

Over the course of three weeks, three different CEOs that visited our offices said that the company that got their attention in recent months was Zara. Those CEos were from apparel, coffee and supermarket industries. That got my attention.

So, I finally went to the 34th Street store to see what the fuss was about. It happens to be across the street from a Gap store. The first thing I noticed was that the ladies' winter coats at Zara looked like they fell out of my Grandmother's closet. I know young people are into thrift stores (I would be too if they carried more of my size), but I was taken aback by the fact that these coats looked like they had been plucked from a Vintage Clothing store. Could it be that 20 year old women really want to look like "Gram" Gray. I think I have a mink wrap with the heads and paws still attached if they want to go all the way. The Zara tags were in English and Spanish, owing to Zara's Spanish roots.

I don't know what I expected, but most of the items, except for the ladies' winter coats, had a very timeless, classic look without looking too trendy. And prices seemed comparable to The Gap. I walked across the street to The Gap to check it out. I saw many of the same stripe patterns in the Gap tops as I had seen at Zara. Many of the pants looked the same too. Scarves? Check. Turtlenecks? Ditto. The Gap line was some 20 deep at the registers. At Zara, it was about 5. Yet Zara is looking better to the CEOs than The Gap. Zara was a bit less cluttered than Gap. Shoppers I interviewed at Zara assured me that their store was hipper and more sylish than The Gap. At least that's their perception. And, hey, this is marketing. Perception is reality. Pretend you heard that phrase here first.

My Andy Rooney Moment at Christmas

There is no bigger waste of trees and money than the holiday cards businesses send out to clients, reporters, whoever. As I go through my mail and identify obvious holiday cards from car companies, ad agencies, PR firms, etc., I toss most of them in the recycling bin unopened. I bring this up in this space because sending Christmas cards is a form of marketing.

At this time of year it is customary to provide a bit extra to those in need. Please let us all think next year about plowing all the money spent on corporate holiday cards and postage into cancer research, UNICEF, homeless shelters, etc.

Want to get my attention and respect? Send me an e-mail that says a contribution of $1 was combined with a lot of other contributions of $1 and sent to a needy and worthy cause.

World Wrestling Wombat

WWE head Vince McMahon may not be a "big fat" idiot. But the "I" word definitely applies.

Upset that the media hasn't been running enough warm fuzzy stories about the Iraq War, McMahon is using company funds (attention shareholders!) to "call out" The New York Times and other liberal media pinhead publications in a full page ad in The Times. McMahon is stopping short of challenging op-ed columnists Thomas Friedman and Paul Krugman to get into the ring. But McMahon feels he is doing his part to influence the national conversation about Iraq by...um...well...lemme see...what he is trying to accomplish by running this ad is.....if you stop and think about it...he's saying...and the reason he is saying this is because......

Exactly.

Our reporter, Diane Brady, asked McMahon why he doesn't weigh in on the steroid scandal. "It's not really an issue for us," replied McMahon. "We don't test for it." Of course. Why would it be an issue if you don't test for it? You don't test for it because probably 100% of the WWE performers are on steroids. The last time I checked, the WWE had a very big adolescent/teenage boy audience constituency. These kids are increasingly taking steroids to enhance their performance. And can we all agree that a 15 year old linebacker on steroids is a bad thing. Can we? Please.

Vince McMahon is a joke, just like his phony WWE product. Could it be that McMahon actually thinks his public persona and company money is better applied to criticizing the media for its coverage of Iraq than for educating young people about not using steroids. But he can't do that, can he? How could he legitimately tell young people not to use steroids when the vast majority of his performers use them under his nose. I'm not sure if he is really this simple, or whether this is a move to cultivate the--"I'm Vince McMahon. I'm simple and proud of it"--brand franchise that appeals to Rush Limbaugh ditto heads and their offspring.

Like I said...World Wrestling Wombat.

Super Premium Vodka: I can See Clearly Now

I dont drink a lot of Vodka. It goes back to an unfortunate incident when I was 17. My parents were away for the weekend. I had a party. The Emergency Room factored in to the whole experience. It wasnt pretty. Over the years, I have imbibed vodka-cranberry, vodka gimlets and vodka tonics. Driven by the increased offerings of premium vodkas, though, I have recently been sampling several vodkas straight, sometimes with a single olive, sometimes with a pearl onion. The closest I plan to come to an actual vodka Martini, though, is drinking a straight vodka with ice cube and olive while watching an Adolph Menjou movie. In other words, keep the Vermouth to yourself.
Premium and super premium vodkas appear to be the hottest thing in drinks these days. And its a shame. Buying these over-priced, over-hyped bottles is right up there with kids playing video-games at 3-years old, $100 baseball gloves for seven-year olds and the fact that Ashlee Simpson gets to make a living at something other than cleaning hotel rooms. Do me a favor: Keep the young hipsters drinking $60 bottles of vodka and $20 cocktails away from me, especially if they are walking past a Salvation Army bucket without dropping something in. By the way, if those same hipsters are buying Ashlee Simpson CDs and dont know who Adolph Menjou iskeep them an extra ten feet away.

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Giuliani is a Brand That's Been Whacked.

In this day of the well-known managing their images like brands, former New York City Mayor Rudolph Giuliani has come to stand for something nationally. Can anyone tell me what it is?

Giuliani was a brand in decline at the end of 2001, a Mayor who was being rushed to the door. Then the tragedy of 9-11 happened. He stood tall, acted appropriately, rose to the occasion and went to all the funerals. He acted like any decent human being and office holder should. And for that, he was made a hero.

The Bush campaign used Giuliani as much as they could this year, wooing Democrats not persuaded by John Kerry that Bush was the only candidate who could really protect Americans. Giuliani, who is more socially liberal than even John Kerry, earned valuable political capital with the Bush White House by selling his integrity to a front runner. But that whoosh you heard this past weekend was Giuliani spending that capital faster than a Bronx lottery winner at The Sands.

Giuliani publically pronounced Bernard Kerik the best man for the job as Homeland Security Chief. And the Bush White House accepted Giuliani's word. Why wouldn't they? This was a Mayor who ran the prostitutes off 11th Avenue and Times Square after previous Mayors failed. He was the "hero" of 9-11, so Time Magazine proclaimed. As a U.S. Attorney, he led stock brokers on perp walks in broad daylight. And as head of a new investment banking firm, corporate clients will entrust him with hundreds of millions and rely on him to do due diligence and merger-acquisition deals. Surely, Giuliani's word can be counted on.

Nope. For a personal brand to work, there has to be muscle on the bone and truth all around. Giuliani is shot on both. The former Mayor has been walking in front of a parade that found him since 9-12. That parade has just desserted him.

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"I'm Dreaming of a White Buick?"

I wonder if Buick will ever be cool. The latest effort to do so is an ad campaign by McCann-Ericksons Troy, Mich. office that uses an Aerosmith classic, Dream On, and some overly attractive models-cum- actors to pitch the LaCrosse sedan.

Buick is a truly hard-luck brand at General Motors. For more than three decades, its had nothing but a steady stream of designs that have been the automotive equivalent of a Sears-Roebuck suit, while its loyal customer base went from NCAA to AARP. It has also been subjected to some of the lamest ad campaigns in the history of the business. This new campaign, the third brand positioning for Buick in four years, I believe, could be the start of something correct. But it still shows a lack of well-considered creative risk taking key to making the newest model, the LaCrosse, stand out even a little bit in a category that includes juggernauts like Honda Accord, Toyota Camry, the Ford Five Hundred and Chrysler 300C.

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