Too Old for Facebook?

Those born in the 1970s and earlier are discovering that the social-networking site can be a compelling way to communicate

by Rachael King

Fortunately, Debbie Weil had a 24-year-old daughter to clue her in when she joined Facebook. So daughter guided mom on the basics of the online social network, like "friending" another member or writing on someone's "wall." But daughter refused to tell mom what it meant to "poke" someone. So, Mom simply never pressed that button, unsure what it would do and a bit embarrassed to ask anyone else. "I've written a corporate blogging book and I still don't know what it means to poke someone," says Weil, a blogging consultant who gives her age as somewhere north of 45.

In growing numbers, the older set is discovering what millions of college students already know: Facebook can be a compelling, even addictive way, to communicate.

Not Just for the College Crowd

In just two months, Weil has accumulated 197 Facebook friends, including Steve Case, Chris Anderson, and Robert Scoble. Weil is one of the millions of people in their mid-30s and older who've joined Facebook during the past year. In all, unique visitors age 35 and older surged to 11.5 million in June. That was more than twice as many as a year ago and represented more than 40% of Facebook's total traffic in June, according to comScore Media Metrix.

There are quite a few groups within Facebook that cater to the older crowd. The "Born in the 60s. Any of us out there?" group boasts 1,950 members. Another group called "Unlike 99.99% of the Facebook population, I was born in the 50s" has 251 members.

Susan Pereira, 37, joined Facebook about two months ago and belongs to group whose name is no longer terribly apt: "Unlike 99.99% of the Facebook population, I was born in the 70s" now boasts 87,408 members. "I think a lot of people are turned off [by Facebook], thinking it's a kids thing, but I have found so many people my age getting into it and realizing how much fun it is," Pereira, a veterinary office assistant in Vancouver writes in a Facebook message to me. "It's such an amazing way to reconnect with people, stay in contact with people who matter and make new friends."

To Poke or Not to Poke

Pereira has a point. Although I've built profiles on a handful of social-networking sites, Facebook is the first I've actually wanted to use in my personal life. MySpace always felt a bit intimidating, like going to a huge frat party alone. But with Facebook's privacy tools, it feels like there's more control.

But unlike anything I've encountered in my 37 years, Facebook makes me really feel like I've finally crossed over to the other side of the generation gap. I'm not entirely clear on all of Facebook's unwritten social rules, all the things that college kids seem to understand intuitively. Yes, that includes what it means to poke someone. Facebook's help page says only that "a poke is a way to interact with your friends on Facebook" and that "people interpret the poke in many different ways." That's really no help. If I poke my boss as a playful gesture, for instance, will I be fired for sexual harassment?

"You have to be careful. It depends on what your relationship is with people originally," says Tom Krieglstein, 26, the founder of SwiftKick, a company that helps educate students and school administrators about social-networking sites like Facebook. "It can have a sexual connotation," but also can be used as a business tool to build rapport with colleagues and clients, Krieglstein says.

This Time It's Personal

Then there's the fundamental question of just how much personal information to reveal. While privacy doesn't appear to be much of an issue for the younger crowd, older people are often more wary about sharing personal bits of their lives. Facebook profiles include room for personal information such as your birthday, dating or marital status, sexual preferences, religion, politics, education, and details of your job. Right off the bat, you can list exactly what you're looking for, whether it's friendship, dating, or random play, which, be warned, is not a pickup game of flag football.