BOB DONNA: FULL-TIME DAD
AGE
38
FAMILY
Wife works full-time; two young children
JOB
Stay-at-home dad, Granby, Conn.
HOW THINGS WORK
When their first child was born, Donna and his wife, Laura, knew they didn't want to use outside day care. But Laura was more career-oriented and wanted to keep working. She was earning about the same money as he did. So he decided to stay home full-time, leaving his job as a software programmer. At first, he took a few small consulting jobs that he could do nights at home, but he has never considered going back to work full-time.
A typical day: He wakes at 6:30, puts his older child on the bus and takes the younger to day care for a few hours. Then he does household chores and shopping before having lunch with his son. He fixes the family's cars, mows the lawn, and cooks dinner -- but mostly, he spends a lot of time playing with the kids. Laura takes over at least one evening a week, when he plays basketball or fishes with friends.
HIS TAKE
"To be honest, I wasn't sure I'd continue this long. I didn't really have too many doubts about how I'd do. I never wondered if we'd do the right things, or if baby would survive. It was more the whole thing about losing touch with my career and everyone else moving ahead while I'm at home changing diapers. I struggled with that a lot the first year or two. But the longer I did it, the less concerned I was with losing touch with computer world. I have whole rest of my life to work full-time. But this part of their life only happens once.
"At the beginning, it was uncomfortable being the only man in the grocery store. The cashier would say, 'Oh you have the kids today.' I'd say, 'I have them every day.' Back when our older son started preschool, I'd bring him to preschool, and I was the only man there. It was a little uncomfortable. Last year, probably 15% of parents there were dads.
"I'm not in a huge hurry to run out and work full-time. Frankly, I don't know how people do it with two jobs. I would think that would be a terrible strain on the family."
RELATED ITEMS
 - THE DADDY TRAP
- CHART: Dad's Dilemma
- JAMES F. HALPIN: WEEKEND COMMUTER
- DARIAN BERRY: DAY JOB, NIGHT DAD
- ERIC WEISLER: `NO BALANCE'
- VINCENT P. AUBRUN: BREADWINNER, FOR NOW
- CESAR GOMEZ: WORLDS APART
- ONLINE ORIGINAL: DONALD J. CARTY: THE BOSS MAKES TIME
- ONLINE ORIGINAL: BOB DONNA: FULL-TIME DAD
- ONLINE ORIGINAL: RICHARD JAWORSKI: FLEXIBILITY WORKS
- ONLINE ORIGINAL: KEN JOHNSON: HARDER TIMES AHEAD?
- ONLINE ORIGINAL: GIORGIO KULP: JEALOUS OF MOM
- ONLINE ORIGINAL: HARVEY PITT: BETTER THE SECOND TIME
- ONLINE ORIGINAL: Q&A: `AN UNWITTING COLLUSION BETWEEN MEN AND WOMEN AND EMPLOYERS'
- ONLINE ORIGINAL: SURVEY: WORK & FAMILY: HOW MEN AND WOMEN COMPARE
- ONLINE ORIGINAL: SURVEY: WORK & FAMILY: DIFFERENCES BY OCCUPATION AND AGE
- COMMENTARY: MEN: `COMING AROUND, BUT THEY'VE GOT A LONG WAY TO GO'
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