A rhymed retrospective by Marc Miller
2009? No valentine—The landscape looks like District 9,Though corporate corpses line the lawnsInstead of otherworldly prawns.Among the living, those once strongNow huff and puff and wheeze along,Unless, of course, they got a giftWhen stimulus gave them a lift.So many deemed too big to failAnd so few deemed too big to bail,The situation gives one pause—Who made Tim Geithner Santa Claus?With federal spending out of sight,Paul Krugman says it's still too slight.The controversy's fierce, but wait,There's still the health-care-bill debate.The public option's blown a fuse,The Senate bill will lose, win, lose,They'll never make Olympia Snowe seeEye to eye with Ms. Pelosi,Lieberman says no, yes, no,While Harry Reid—oh, let it go.A back-and-forth on cap-and-tradeMeans going green's again delayed,And how can joy be unalloyedWith double-digit unemployedAnd upward-sailing federal debt...Did I say Merry Christmas yet?
Well, Merry Christmas anyhow,And first of all, the deepest bowTo those whose companies survived,And in some cases even thrived:At Goldman Sachs, somehow Lloyd BlankfeinKept the profits of his bank fine;Richard Anderson impressedWith Delta's merger with Northwest,While Citi's Pandit spread some cheerBy working for a buck a year,As did the chief of Oracle—What, Ellison? Historical!Bob Iger helped make Disney shineBy snapping up the Marvel lineAnd also made his stock price sparkAnnouncing that new Shanghai park,While Microsoft made big noise revvin'Up to market Windows 7.Signs of life were found, they say,By analysts of M&A,And Jeffrey Bewkes at last was ableTo unwind Time Warner's cable.Wal-Mart bravely soldiered onIn price wars vs. Amazon,But happiest of all, perhaps,Was anyone who markets apps,From recipes for turkey scrapsTo farts to Chinese take-out maps.Such downloads, though they may be pap, 'llSurely warm the hearts at Apple.
Season's greetings, too, to thoseWhose bottom lines hit thudding lows,Or who are never coming back:An R.I.P. for Pontiac,And even Saturn fell to earth(I liked the Vue, for what it's worth),Though GM, in a bid to cope, 'llSell, keep, sell, keep, sell, keep Opel.Massive debt at AMR,Six Flags and Saks are under par,And for the umpty-umth year, BoeingCan't get its Dreamliner going.NBC is finding ten o'Clock is not prime time for Leno.(Will its programs be more trendyOnce it's cut off from Vivendi?)Intel's having not much funIn being sued by everyone,While Rupert Murdoch feels the stingOf Google (his solution: Bing).The woe extends to Donald Trump,Who's suffering from a gambling slump,And layoffs even ruled the day(And this is rare) at J&J.Some not-too-prudent marketingMeant sales were down at Burger King,And though their image is aglitter,Are they in the black at Twitter?Little changed at CIT:It's barely out of bankruptcy,While profits were a constant lackAt Fannie Mae and Freddie Mac.Oh, one more thing that made us freak:When Bloomberg purchased BusinessWeek.
So for next year, here's what I'm thinking:Let the trade gap go on shrinking,Let each market force allowA solidly five-digit Dow.In fact, let every market fly—The DAX, the Nikkei, heck, Dubai.Let the feds still run GM,But once it's healthy, fire them.More electric cars, and please,More cost-efficient batteries.Let the media brass divineA way to make a buck online,And let that buck not plunge so lowThe U.S. ends up with no dough.Let a sluggish SECResolve its Madoff misery,And let the BLS reportStatistics of a happier sort,With millions of well-paid new jobs,For everyone, not just Lou Dobbs.Let the housing market soarRight back to where it was before,And let consumer spending rise,But don't let debt metastasize.Peace on earth, good will toward men,And see you in 2010.