Does the thought of another pretzels-and-spritzer networking session make you want to sob into a cocktail napkin? Perhaps it's time to start your own networking group, crafting a focus -- and putting together the members -- who will actually benefit from periodic schmooze fests.

How should you do it? Here are six tips to keep in mind, as told by Lynne Waymon, founder of Waymon & Assoc., a Silver Spring (Md.) training company. Join Waymon for a live chat about networking, Sunday, Feb. 22, at 9 p.m. (ET) on America Online (keyword: BWTalk).

1. Ask: Who shares your customers?
If you build decks, for instance, build a referral group that includes a real estate agent, lawn-care entrepreneur, and maybe an interior designer. The same concept can apply to any business. Of course, you share the same customers, but you're not competing with one another.

2. Look for people whose character and competence you trust.
That means getting to know them before you ask them to join a group. Don't just call somebody from the Yellow Pages.

3. Spend quality time together.
Meet for lunch or breakfast either individually or as a group. About every two weeks is good enough, because every month seems too seldom. It works best if you do other things with members, too. For instance, go to an event and invite one of those people along. For starters, you will have all the time in the car together. And you'll be able to introduce that person to other business friends and associates at the event.

4. Focus on each other.
When you meet as a group, don't get speakers or special programs. The most important thing is getting to know each other. Usually, groups get together and attendees give a 30-second description of their businesses. That's boring. Instead, ask interesting questions that help generate story-swapping and confidence-building: "What is the best mistake you ever made?" or "Who is your role model?"

5. Avoid appearing self-serving.
Tell people whose character and competence you trust: "About 95% of my business comes from referrals. Our purpose is to get to know each other well enough to feel comfortable referring business to each other. Would you like to get more business from referrals?" That notion of self-interest, when not fully understood by all sides, is the thing that gives networking a bad name.  You need to be aboveboard about what you're doing. Either they're interested or they're not.

6. Know your new friends.
Test each other every once in a while to be sure you can describe each other's business, expertise, and needs. You are all on one another's front team, a satellite sales force. So intimately know what each person does.

To: MANAGEMENT