There's a myth that self-employment and freedom go hand-in-hand. Ask any home-based business owner how liberated he feels, and this is probably what he'll say:

"Freedom? Hah! Sure, I don't have to worry about getting fired. And if I don't show up for work at exactly 8 a.m., no one cares. But I haven't taken a vacation in three years, and I work 70 to 80 hours a week. When I'm not working, I'm worrying about my business. Instead of reporting to a boss, now I'm accountable to my clients. Don't get me wrong -- I wouldn't trade this for any corporate job. But freedom? That's not how I'd describe being self-employed!"

What I miss most about my previous corporate career is paid vacations and sick time. My husband and I haven't taken a vacation longer than a weekend since our honeymoon three years ago. Why? Because one or both of us has been self-employed since our marriage. And the expense of a vacation, combined with the ongoing pressures of business, have limited us to weekend visits to grandma and grandpa. My sister-in-law, Jane, a self-employed psychologist, recently underwent major surgery that put her out of commission for a month. There won't be a vacation for Jane -- or her family -- this year, as they recover from the loss of her income. Vacations are a luxury for those with disposable income and free time -- two scarce commodities for entrepreneurs.

When the subject of vacations comes up, entrepreneurs tend to respond according to their role in the business, conscious or not. Which category do you fall into?

The firefighter: We're still waiting for the right time to take a vacation. We're always reacting to one crisis or another. When things calm down, then we'll go.

The worrier: The last time I took a vacation, I worked most of the time on my laptop. I didn't get any rest, and work piled up in my absence. Why bother?

The workaholic: I haven't taken a vacation in more than eight years, and I'm proud of it. It shows how hard I've worked to make this business successful!

The indispensable one: I can't take a vacation because no one is trained to take the reins in my absence. Besides, if you want it done right, you've got to do it yourself.

The inflexible one: My wife wants to take the kids for a vacation without me. I don't think that's right. A family should vacation together -- or not at all.

The pragmatist: We take vacations whenever we have business trips that we can write off. We tag on an extra day for having fun, if our schedules allow.

The dreamer: I've got to be away from the business at least two weeks to relax. So I'm waiting until I can leave that long.

The penny-pincher: If there's any money left after paying the bills, we'll consider it. We've got more important things to spend our money on than a vacation.

When you start your own business, something has to give -- and in many cases, it's vacations. But you still need to find a way to take a break. For some, working less than 50 hours a week is a respite. So go away one weekend, and check out the tourist sites in your hometown. Observe the Sabbath with your family for one full day. Take your kids to the movies after school. If a scheduled week off would only increase the pressure, don't do it. On the other hand, when the signs of burnout are loud and clear, you'd better listen. And remember, your family may need a vacation -- even if you can manage without one.

Have a question on how to handle the pressures of running a business and the impact on your personal life, marriage, and family? Contact Azriela Jaffe at AZ@azriela.com. Please put "BW Online question" in the subject field. Your real name will be kept confidential if you request, but please give an E-mail address, phone number, and your hometown so she can contact you for more information. Because of heavy volume, Azriela cannot guarantee that she will answer every query.

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