"Enclosed please find..."

Now, how many times have you gotten a letter that started with that statement? Too many, I'll warrant. If the letter writers enclosed whatever they promised to enclose, shouldn't the letter receivers find the aforementioned enclosed without too much difficulty, unless they were incredibly inept? So it follows that instructions are not really necessary when you're enclosing material. Yet I get mail with this phrase attached all the time. I even got E-mail once with this same phrase referring to an attachment. Make that: "Attached please find..."

My other favorite is "per." Per our agreement...per our conversation...per your telephone call...Per your inability to communicate like a human being!

People -- this definitely includes entrepreneurs -- tense up when they write a cover or business letter. If you're going to write your own letters, make sure your way with words doesn't make someone's hair hurt.

Then there are the brochures that read like a securities-offering prospectus. If you are writing your own brochure -- not a good idea, by the way -- it's not necessary to detail every conceivable fact of the company, down to your personal family tree. You may think it's a masterpiece, but to casual observers it's no different than those handouts you get on New York City streetcorners flogging discount suits or nail salons. You know how grandparents think their grandchildren are the most precious things alive? Same concept.

The last thing would-be entrepreneurs think about when they open their own businesses is how to communicate. I get lots of mail -- reams of it -- and that's not counting E-mail. Most of what I get is tossed. And if I find many pieces of paper when I open the envelope, it's a sure bank shot into the circular file.

When I was a big-time editor for a large newspaper, we had a ritual on Friday night: Drag the big blue recycling can over and toss 99% of the press releases on our desks into it with as few motions as possible. What a waste of effort those releases represented.

There is no substitute for a good letter -- when you have a point to make. I just fired one off to the president of the bank that recently turned me down for a line of credit. Damn good letter. Made me feel good. Will it make a difference? Will he ever read it? I don't know, but what do I have to lose? What can they do? Turn me down again? Charge me a fee for withdrawing money from a competing ATM? It was just a few paragraphs, no more than 200 words. Short, sweet, and very much to the point.

Finally, a word of caution. When writing letters, don't use spell-check. Use your brain and a dictionary. Spell-check will sometimes change the meaning of a sentence if you're not careful. And certainly don't mess with grammar-check. You may end up sounding like Mr. Spock diagramming a sentence. Better to send a test letter to a friend or associate and ask them to be brutally honest with you about the way it's written and whether it truly reflects your personality. Then go out and hire a professional -- like me, for example.

George Giokas is the president and CEO of StaffWriters Plus, a specialty agency that places writers in temporary and permanent positions with corporate and other employers. It also provides editorial consulting work. His database includes 2,500 writers and editors specializing in more than 60 categories. His Web site is located at www.staffwriters.com, and you can E-mail him at george@staffwriters.com.