It's time for a radical, new approach to building business relationships.

In the four years that I've owned this small business, I've joined something like a dozen organizations -- everything from industrial and information technology associations to women's groups. I've lost count of the hotel meals I've stared at. (The chicken is always safe.)

I'm part of a "networking" group where members exchange business leads and generally gather to have a good time. The problem is, there seems to be more of the latter than the former. Don't get me wrong. I like to swap stories and make chitchat like anyone else. But if time is money, this is becoming very expensive.

In this new year, I have vowed to stay away from outside activities that don't do anything for my business. I've been practicing saying "no" for the past few weeks, and I think I'm ready for the big time. "No, I can't, thanks.... No, there just isn't any time for that.... No, I think I'll pass this year.... No, I don't have time to work on the newsletter. I'm sorry.... No, I can't make that event. I'm preparing an important proposal." Proposals, by the way, are always a good fallback. Have you noticed that everyone is always "working on a proposal" well into the night? That's a lot of proposals.

Saying "no" doesn't make you a bad person. It helps you focus on more important things, such as your business. And it simplifies your life by eliminating promises you can't deliver. It even works with potential clients when you think the relationship is not going to work out: "No, I don't think our service is a fit for what you're looking for. Have you tried so and so?"

When networking first started in the '80s, it was considered revolutionary. Business owners and others met for breakfast or lunch to talk shop and trade information about clients and sales tactics. It caught on like crazy. And you were considered an outcast of you didn't belong to one of the circles.

Now, more than 15 years later, these groups are still meeting, but the model hasn't changed much. Nor have the members in some cases. Someone needs to come up with a whole new approach -- like holding meetings at the gym. At the very least, reassess membership every six months.

If the group is nothing more than a social exercise and has not helped to generate real business, it's a good candidate for abandonment. The only exception to that rule is if the group is politically significant, and you need to show your face. Even then, political business relationships sour as the years go by. So be wary of overextending your stay and know when to get out.

Of course, if your business is wildly successful and self-perpetuating, you don't need to network. You can say no to everything. Now that sounds nice.

George Giokas is the president and CEO of StaffWriters Plus, a specialty agency that places writers in temporary and permanent positions with corporate and other employers. It also provides editorial consulting work. His database includes 2,500 writers and editors specializing in more than 60 categories. His Web site is located at www.staffwriters.com, and you can E-mail him at george@staffwriters.com.