Everyone, it seems, is talking about "The Year 2000" as if a monumental calamity is about to occur.

That may be the case. But, to be honest, as the very busy owner of a small business, I have done absolutely nothing about Y2K -- except to wonder from time to time if I should dig out the old IBM Selectric and buy a really neat bike to get to work on.

Well, that's not entirely true. I did download a program last year that was supposed to check my computer for compliance. But there were so many warnings about backing up all of my files that I couldn't be bothered. I can test my PC just as well myself -- by setting the clock to Jan. 1, 2000 and watching it melt.

Now, I know that doing nothing is not a great strategy. But I am a journalist, and journalists don't do anything unless they absolutely have to. This is why deadlines were invented. Without them, no journalist on this planet would ever file a story on time. Procrastination actually helps the creative juices. It's much like making good coffee: The thoughts have to percolate and collect before you can pour them out.

I digress -- but only as a ploy to avoid discussing this issue. Along with one Washington intern's stained dress, the Year 2000 bug is one of those topics I've heard enough about. A search of "Y2K" on AltaVista retrieved 44,230 Web-related references, ranging from highly technical stuff to how to survive in the wilderness. The truth lies somewhere in between. Like it or not, inexplicable things probably will happen at the turn of the new century.

Actually, the less you know about technology the luckier you will be -- because it means you probably haven't become addicted. Those of us who remember the simple days and who know how to run a business by sheer sweat and human ingenuity will survive the programmer's revenge and will find ways to cope. Those who just can't function without electronic intervention will find themselves lost, left to wander the streets without cell phones.

In the face of all of this anxiety, I offer a simple solution: Go back in time. That's right. Let's return to 1900 and start all over again. So what if people over age 100 would be eligible for kindergarten. The IRS might never be able to find us. And think how nice it would be to actually speak face-to-face to one another instead of having to go through voice-mail attendants. Who knows? Maybe kids would start reading novels again, and families would have dinners together every night.

It would be interesting to see how different this century could be if we went back to the drawing boards and left Y2K for someone else to worry about.

George Giokas is the president and CEO of StaffWriters Plus, a specialty agency that places writers in temporary and permanent positions with corporate and other employers. It also provides editorial consulting work. His database includes 2,500 writers and editors specializing in more than 60 categories. His Web site is located at www.staffwriters.com, and you can E-mail him at george@staffwriters.com.