Discover Your Leadership Blind Spots

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It's about being aware of the signals and needs and contributions of the people around you. It's critical to effective leadership.

Finally, I'm frequently struck by the tendency of many managers to avoid difficult conversations. This might seem odd when the previous two blind spots may evoke the image of a boss who doesn't particularly care about what people think. But the truth is that most of us dislike feeling uncomfortable or creating discomfort in others. We avoid confrontations, especially in the workplace.

Bottling It Up

The fear among some managers is that they will open Pandora's box and be faced with a negative or emotional reaction, conflict that will escalate, or a relationship that cannot be recovered. Some might be nervous about a lawsuit or resort to less obvious ways of making their dissatisfaction known.

If this is one of your blind spots, you have a dilemma: what you cannot talk about, you cannot resolve. When you avoid tough conversations, problems are repeated and issues escalate. Worse, your behavior sends a message that unacceptable behavior or performance will be tolerated in the organization. You essentially give poor performers the same treatment as your stars and, worse, the people on your team don't really know where they stand.

Symptoms include softening your message, talking in generalizations instead of providing specific examples, and expecting others to read between the lines instead of actually telling them where they're falling short.

When you avoid difficult conversations, you are not doing anyone a favor. People may be confused by your mixed messages. They don't understand why they're passed over for plum assignments or promotions because no one has confronted them about their work. They think you don't notice. Everyone else thinks you don't care.

You can't do anything about your blind spots until you can recognize them when they occur. The first step is to ask others for their candid feedback. Your opinion about how you think your behavior affects others isn't sufficient. The reason these behaviors recur is that you're not aware of what you're doing. Second, take accountability for your impact and stop justifying your behavior by defending your positive intentions. Third, in the absence of a structured process, ask those who do see certain weaknesses to coach you the moment your blind spot surfaces. Finally, stop the behavior the instant you see it by acknowledging it.

Be courageous and say something like: "I'm beating around the bush. My commitment is to give you direct feedback. Let me start again." Then, start again. Your goal is not to be perfect. It's to check your blind spot and recover quickly.

Loretta Malandro, PhD is CEO of Malandro Communication and author of Fearless Leadership, coming out this fall from The McGraw-Hill Companies.

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