Analysis: A New Mom; A Distant Boss

A new mother's solution to workplace anxiety starts with introspection and finishes with a frank talk in the boss's office, says workplace expert Liz Ryan

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Any woman, or man, for that matter, returning to work from a long, life-changing absence can't help but feel a bit of insecurity. Our case study's worries that she is now diminished in the eyes of her supervisor—the man who gave her the job and then mentored her for 10 years—may or may not be well-founded, but either way, she needs to launch a plan of action.

"This employee needs to get outside of her feelings, outside of her emotional state, and look at whether her performance may have slipped," says Liz Ryan, a careers consultant and speaker. "With all the new tasks she's handling at home, maybe she has changed at the office."

She might start the analysis by comparing how long she took to handle assignments before the maternity leave vs. how long it takes after the leave. "Did I submit my work in a rush, or did I wait a day to double-check details and then hand it in?" she should ask herself. "Was I more alert at staff meetings then? Do I now find myself nodding off during long sessions in the conference room?"

Step 2. A talk with the boss is definitely in order, but the new mother first needs to concentrate on making the right impression. "It shouldn't be, Boo hoo hoo, I feel terrible,'" Ryan says. "She should tell the boss that she's gone through some personal changes and wants to talk about her future."

Questions to ask the boss might include: "How do you see me as a member of your team?" and "How am I doing since my return?"

The boss may very well register surprise—"What are you talking about? You're the same rising star you always were." If that's the case, the new mother can simply return to her old office routines, reassured that her fears are groundless.

On the other hand, according to Ryan, the supervisor might say, "'I can't give you the same kinds of assignments I did before, because I don't feel comfortable sending you on a trip when you have a new baby at home.'"

Step 3. At that point she could assure him that jetting off to Mexico City is no problem—or thank him for being considerate because she really doesn't want to travel for the next year or two. In the latter case, she could compensate by offering to take on extra assignments that don't require trips.

Once the boss understands that her commitment to the job—whether parenthood alters her approach to office responsibilities or not—is unchanged, both he and his employee will feel relieved and more confident.

Liz Ryan is an expert on the new-millennium workplace and a former Fortune 500 HR executive.