How to Take the 'Diss' Out of Dissent

When a useful employee undercuts your authority by questioning decisions, it's best to lay down the law—firmly, privately, and politely

by Liz Ryan

Yours,
Richard

Dear Richard,

I applaud you for spotting the young woman's potential and giving her latitude. At the same time I want to caution you against reinforcing behaviors that may be both damaging to your group's effectiveness and harmful to her career. She is out-of-line, and you'd be well-advised to have a frank conversation with her. Every time that she behaves inappropriately in a meeting and you fail to act, the team gets the message that you're either conflict-averse or in support of Stephanie's approach.

Let's start with the topic of Stephanie's difficulty supporting decisions that have been finalized. I'd imagine that at times, you are open to debate among your team members about the direction to take on a particular project. When that open discussion period is over, you'll say, "Thanks very much for your input; I've decided to go ahead with Plan B." Once you've made that call, it's important that everyone in the group gets in line. If they have concerns, they need to see you individually about them. Otherwise, how could you ever proceed in any direction? You can't very well move your team forward if at any point it's okay for an employee to reopen a closed matter and rehash it, much less say, "I have always hated that idea."

The good news is that there's a way to extinguish the disruptive behavior without bashing Stephanie herself. Her behavior is 100% unacceptable, and you need to squash it like a bug. However, you want to do that while reinforcing her energy and idea-generating abilities.

So you'll call her into a private space and say: "Stephanie, I want to talk with you about what happened at last Friday's meeting. When you said 'That idea is idiotic,' I didn't stop you because I didn't want to embarrass you in front of the group. That's why I'm talking with you now. That kind of language is uncalled for. It's insulting to the person who proposed the idea, and I can't have that kind of disrespect shown by one of my employees to another. I need it to stop immediately.

"Likewise, when you're unhappy with a plan I've announced, I need you to ask me if I'm open to further discussion. If I have time and am willing to open the topic with you, then we can talk privately. If I don't have time and I feel that I have sufficient input to move ahead, I'll let you know. But once my decision is final, it's critical that you support it and me."

By now, she's probably feeling somewhat deflated, so you need to let her know that you appreciate her good points. You say something like: "I think you're a great asset. I value your work and your thinking on a large number of important issues. This feedback that I'm giving you is going to be important for you to integrate into your thinking as you continue in your career. If anything I'm saying is unclear or you want to talk about it at a later point, let me know. You have a lot to offer our clients and the company, and this communication issue is getting in the way of your doing that."

So, you let her know that what she's doing has to stop, remind her that you value her, and leave the door open to further conversation. I'd do it sooner rather than later—ideally, before your next staff meeting.

Cheers,
Liz

Liz Ryan is an expert on the new-millennium workplace and a former Fortune 500 HR executive.