The Emotional Ignorance Trap

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But quirks in logic are merely symptoms of the real problem. The enduring misunderstanding of the deeper issue—emotions—is leading us down a dangerous rabbit hole in search of the wrong solutions. As long as managers continue to view decisions only in terms of logic (or lack of it), they will continue to look exclusively for left-brain solutions, all the while getting blindsided by unrecognized and unmanaged emotions.

The good news is that emotional ignorance is curable. It doesn't happen overnight, but it can be learned in three months with just a little focused effort. Here's how to get started.

1. Understand your emotions as they happen.

Take note of what you are feeling and doing as a situation unfolds so you can learn to harness your emotions in difficult situations. Remember that ignoring emotions doesn't make them magically disappear. Only now after the Wall Street crash are we finally hearing people talk about fear and panic. A year ago, nobody wanted to discuss anything except Fed policies and interest rates.

2. Step away from the emotional situation.

Keep your finger on the pulse of your emotions and know when to allow yourself the opportunity to step back from the situation. Once you get good at sniffing out your emotions as you feel them, evaluate them objectively. Try picturing the current situation in your head as if it were happening to someone else. What would you recommend that someone else do to create the best results?

3. Prepare yourself for feelings of uncertainty.

By definition, every choice you make depends on your estimation of uncertain outcomes. For nearly everyone, that uncertainty feels uncomfortable, so expect some anxiety to accompany decisions. Anticipate it and prepare yourself for it by talking through your thoughts and feelings with a third party who may not be as closely involved with the situation. Then, accept the fact that you may not have complete control over the outcome, but you can control your reaction to it.

Remind yourself to practice Step 1 every day for one month. Set a reminder on your calendar or jot down "Understand your emotions as they happen" on a sticky note and post it on your bathroom mirror. At the end of the first 30 days, switch the reminder to say "Step away from the emotional situation," and add Step 2 to your routine. And at the beginning of the third month, change the reminder to "Prepare yourself for feelings of uncertainty," and incorporate Step 3 into your practice.

Once you've mastered the three steps, you're on the path to making decisions you can celebrate, not regret.

Nick Tasler is a writer, researcher, speaker, and consultant. He is vice-president of global research and development at Monarch Leadership, and was formerly the director of global R&D for the think tank TalentSmart. Tasler holds a bachelor's and master's degree in industrial-organizational psychology, and his ability to translate cutting-edge discoveries into practical solutions has benefited Fortune 500 companies, non-profits and small businesses in industries ranging from energy to healthcare and government to financial services. His book The Impulse Factor: An Innovative Approach to Better Decision-Making was awarded Best Career Book of 2008. Lac D. Su is TalentSmart's director of strategic alliances and contributor to the Emotional Intelligence Appraisal 2.0 (May, 2009).

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