If you've been hitting the snooze button lately on weekday mornings instead of hitting the shower—or find yourself taking the long way around to avoid passing by the corner office, you may just be working for a TOT, that is, a "Terrible Office Tyrant."
TOTs are bosses who act strikingly similar to children, oftentimes toddlers in their Terrible Twos. Why does this happen? Because we're all human, and behind the professional facade are grown kids who act out and can't moderate their power. Unfortunately, at some point from 9 to 5, they just cannot allow the child within to stay there. So in the workplace, these tykes ruin your day and wreak havoc on office productivity.
A TOT can also be a little lost lamb—a clueless or helpless child, afraid to reveal the slightest incompetence. Still, their mood swings, fickleness, or endless questions can make you want to crawl under your desk, or put your e-mail on permanent "out of office reply." Regardless of which type of TOT you are working for, TOTs are a distraction, leaving you to wonder whether you work in a schoolyard or a business.
The key is how you manage them.
The first step is spotting a TOT. At first glance, your boss's childish behaviors can be mistaken for a sporadic outburst. But after a while, you'll observe a pattern. Fortunately, by recognizing the parallel between out-of-control kids and bosses, you'll discover that the same basic techniques often work effectively for both.
With some keen insights, you can metaphorically place your TOT in the back car seat (just don't enlighten your boss with the analogy). You can maneuver around the most challenging and counterproductive behavior of the day—or hour—with your newfound empowering tools, some practice, and a lot of diplomacy. You can tame your TOT and thrive in your career.
CEOs are not particularly fond of TOTs either. Childish managers sap productivity and hurt the bottom line. I advise CEOs to TOT-proof their company by making it safe for success— so that employees can make mistakes, communicate, and innovate. Where TOTs lurk, so does turnover, absenteeism, loss of customers, poor employee recruitment and retention, and profit erosion. Conversely, a firm dedicated to being "TOT-free" is successful, progressive, worth investing in and working for, as evidenced by countless lists of desirable, profitable places to work and most admired companies.
So how can you tame your TOT? Here are the five hallmarks of a Terrible Office Tyrant, and and tips on managing them:
Tantrums
Your sales team falls short of the projected quarterly figures. So your TOT throws a tirade that makes one thinks of a 2-year-old sprawled on the floor after being told "no!" Assessing the situation rationally and opening a constructive dialogue is not in the cards for your tantrum-prone TOT. These bosses cannot manage difficult situations where they are powerless, especially if your work led to the problem, or if you're in their line of fire.
TOT-Taming tips:
Determine the best time of day and day of the week to approach your TOT: not right before lunch; Monday mornings; stock collapses or other setbacks.
When you sense the fireworks are happening, don't hang around for the show. If you are dragged in, let your TOT vent at first; never fight a tantrum with a tantrum.
Consider the acronym CALM: communicate, anticipate, laugh, and manage. Keep the lines of communication open; anticipate problems and solutions; use humor (it is the great diffuser); and manage up by being a positive, proactive problem solver.
Demanding
You get into the office and wonder why your e-mail says "Server Error." Then you begin to realize that your demanding TOT crashed your computer with 27 inbox requests with enormous files, all before 9 a.m.
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