Analysis: The Jerk Isn't Gonna Change

Once it was clear problems with a toxic boss weren't going to be remedied, the employee should have taken stronger action: leaving

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During the eight months that Anne Kelly,* a senior editor at a trade magazine, grappled with Jackie Pebble—a bullying boss who barely communicated except to disparage at 130 decibels—she took a stab at improving things by complaining to his superior. The superior, Barry, the publisher of the magazine, empathetically stated Anne should look for another job if she found Jackie too difficult. Nonetheless, she clung to the job for eight months, until another corporation acquired the publication and got rid of the entire existing staff.

Did she do right? According to career coaches, yes and no. While some of the steps she took were reasonable, she neglected to try a measure or two that might have helped. On the plus side, she didn't blame herself for Jackie's toxicity.

"She was aware that he was behaving inappropriately, and she didn't take it personally," says Phyllis Rosen, a Manhattan career and executive coach. "At least she didn't take on that stress. In a situation like this, I would suggest she give her boss a story outline before writing a story, and it sounds as though she was already doing that."

The Risk of Being Labeled a Complainer

While complaining to her boss's boss didn't yield any results, it wasn't necessarily a bad move. "If she makes it known that the boss is a jerk, and then other people complain about him down the line, she's started something good," says Joel Garfinkle, president of Garfinkle Executive Coaching in Oakland, Calif. "On the other hand, if she complains to multiple people and no one else knows the boss is a jerk yet, she could be branded a complainer."

Before going over Jackie's head with her grievance, she could have tried talking to him directly, says Chason Hecht, president of the Manhattan firm Retensa Retention Specialists. "First, you set up a time to have a conversation about the work environment," he explains. "Once you're in that conversation, you say, 'I really appreciate a lot of good things here, but this isn't the best environment for me to succeed in serving you.' That way, you've modified 'there's something wrong with you' to 'hey, let's win this game together.'"

If there's no change in his behavior—or only a temporary modification—a trip to human resources is an option. "Express to HR the value you find in the company and that this situation with your boss isn't getting better," Hecht says. "Ask HR what the 'chain of actions' to your complaint will be. You could also say you've seen the boss treat other employees badly. This may be a boss HR doesn't want in the company anyway, so it may be the opportunity they've been looking for."

A Little More Time Could Have Helped

Indeed, if the company has no formal 360-degree feedback policy, a program whereby subordinates hand in written critiques of their superiors, your visit to HR could break new ground.

Another option might have worked if she'd had a little more time at the job: acquiring internal "advocates" who can advise and assist. "You want to establish relationships with people higher up in the company," Garfinkle says. "You want these higher-up people to see how much knowhow you have and what a valuable resource you are. These would be people you could pull in and explain the problem with your boss to, and see if they can help."

What about the boss's abuses like making his subordinates lay out cash for business expenses even when he was there with his own corporate card? Well, Anne just needed to suck it up. "You've got to know when to pick your battles," says Garfinkle. "This is something annoying but petty enough not to make an issue of."

A Toxic Corporate Culture

All the experts we consulted said another solid option would simply have been to start job-hunting after two months of her start date, once it became obvious Jackie wasn't going to change.

"She needed to get out of there," Garfinkle says. "'My boss talks to me that way all the time' is a hard line to hear. This person is saying that the culture here is that most people are jerks."

Indeed, the writing was on the wall. "When the publisher told her she should look for another job," says Rosen, "she should have believed him."

* This story is true. Some names and identifying details in the story have been changed.