Ten Things Only Bad Managers Say

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Drop everything and DO THIS NOW!
Any manager can have a last-minute emergency that pushes everything else out of the way. Good managers pull this move sparingly and only in real crises. Poor managers do it every day, and they never remember the dozen equally critical (at one point in time) priorities they’ve already told you to drop everything else for. A good comeback if your manager has this habit is to answer, “Yes, of course. That’ll push [yesterday’s drop-everything project] to next Thursday—is that fine?”

Don’t bring me problems. Bring me solutions.
This chestnut showed up during the era when people were beginning to think about business process and realizing that employees could often solve their day-to-day problems in the moment and on the ground, rather than having to go upstairs to get help. That’s O.K., but too many managers have reinterpreted “Bring me solutions, not problems” as “Don’t complain—shut up and deal with it.” The fact is, business processes and organizations are complicated today, and often the employee who spots a problem doesn’t have the information she or he needs to solve it. That’s where a manager can help, if he or she is oriented that way. Managers who say, “Bring me solutions” are often really saying, “Stop telling me what I don’t want to hear.” Working for a person like that will shorten your lifespan.

Sounds like a personal problem to me.
One of the worst situations I ever encountered as a corporate HR leader involved an employee who went off the rails on a business trip for a Las Vegas customer event. I heard through the grapevine that two employees assigned to share a hotel room had exchanged heated words. On investigating, I learned that the hot mess of an employee had gotten drunk in Las Vegas and showed up (still drunk) in her hotel room with her (also drunk) cabdriver/instant boyfriend in tow. I was horrified on a million levels and virtually ran to her manager’s office to talk once the trip was concluded. “How are we going to deal with this?” I asked him. “Oh, it’s O.K.,” he said, “I told the two young ladies to sort it out between then.” “But—but,” I sputtered, “our employee got drunk and disorderly, was nearly arrested in the hotel, brought a drunk stranger into her shared hotel room, and wouldn’t leave when her co-worker protested. The poor marketing gal had to call another co-worker and switch rooms at four in the morning!” “I know,” said her manager, “and I think there’s a lesson there in how to work harmoniously on a team. I’ve asked the two women to have lunch and talk about it.” That didn’t happen, because we fired Ms. Unruly the same day. If your manager can’t see misbehavior and snuff it out, you have a problem.

I have some feedback for you … and everyone here feels the same way.
Good managers give their employees feedback when it’s warranted, and they try to emphasize and reinforce the good things. Bad managers don’t give praise, but they ladle on the criticism, and the really bad ones add an extra twist of meanness: They say, “Everyone here feels the same way.” Pretty soon, you start to feel that you can’t trust anyone in your shop and that everyone hates you—until a co-worker mentions that your lousy manager said the same thing to her. Poor managers need to throw in a few dozen extra “votes” with their barbs, just to keep employees off guard. A true leader would talk about conflict or performance issues regularly in staff meetings, resolving whatever is at issue without passing along anonymous jabs.

In these times, you’re lucky to have a job at all.
The funniest thing about a manager who would open his mouth and say, “You’re lucky to have a job at all” is that these managers never seem to think they’re lucky to be working—just everyone else. “You’re lucky to have a job at all” in an era of more than 9 percent unemployment is the same as saying, “I can’t believe you manage to stay in that 90 percent of the population that is working.” It’s a huge insult, but worse, a statement of personal failure on the manager’s part. People who live in fear don’t tend to see the potential in themselves, or in others. If your manager’s native mode is critical, and if she tosses around compliments like manhole covers, know that there are plenty of other employers who’d be happy to have someone like you in the mix.

Liz Ryan is an expert on the new-millennium workplace and a former Fortune 500 HR executive.