Humble Yourself at Work

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After I acknowledge the limited validity of their point, I usually ask, “O.K., so how good are you at giving constructive feedback to your direct reports?” If the leaders are humble enough to acknowledge that they’re not particularly good at it themselves (most are not) and that they can’t expect people to do something that they don’t do themselves, my point has been made.

Don’t Overlook “Sins of Omission”

But many will claim that they give plenty of feedback to their people, certainly much more than the mid-level managers they’re criticizing. For these most-stubborn leaders, the next question I ask—the most important one yet—is this: “So how diligent and painstaking are you about making your direct reports give their people feedback?”

Before I give them a chance to answer, I like to remind them about the concept of a “sin of omission,” the idea that many of the mistakes people make are not a function of what they’re doing wrong, but rather what they’re not doing right. See, in most organizations, the biggest problems arise not because leaders are actively promoting the wrong behavior, but rather because they’re passively doing so by allowing people to get away with such behavior with impunity.

The most common reason that leaders commit sins of omission is that they just don’t feel comfortable confronting people about what they are or are not doing. Instead, they look the other way and hope the problem goes away. When they see that the problem has spread throughout the organization, they really have no one to blame but themselves. This is a moment of great humility. And a moment of truth.

Great leaders, like great parents, will grit their teeth and accept the painful reality that they are almost always the reason something is awry in their organizations. They’ll accept the pain of being humbled and set themselves on a course of correction. In the end, their egos may suffer temporary bruises, but the organizations they lead will improve. Poor leaders, on the other hand, will try to protect their egos by continuing to blame others. Ultimately, their organizations will suffer and their egos will get much bigger bruises, the kind that last a long time.

All leaders—and for that matter, parents—need to seek out humbling opportunities, painful as they may be. Within that humility we will discover the reservoir of improvement and progress that we’re looking for, and that our organizations, families, and society so desperately want.

Pat Lencioni is the founder and president of the Table Group, a business dedicated to providing organizations with ideas, products, and services that improve teamwork, clarity, and employee engagement. Lencioni's speaking and consulting clients include a mix of Fortune 500 companies, professional sports organizations, the military, nonprofits, schools, and churches. Lencioni is the author of nine best-selling books with nearly 3 million copies sold, including the new release, Getting Naked, and The Five Dysfunctions of a Team, which continues to be a fixture on national best-seller lists.