ANNOYING:
History Channel
Experts lecture on the Civil War, World War II, and Caribbean history. From $2,074, seven nights

American Girl
Dolls get their own teacup at dinner. There's even a doll hair salon. $3,313, seven nights

National Review
The right-wing journal launched its maiden voyage in 1994. $1,899, seven nights

VH1
This year the "Best Cruise Ever" featured concerts by Train, Lifehouse, and Colbie Caillat. $799, four nights

A.C. Milan
Cruising with soccer players isn't the only draw: Coaches teach clinics and organize matches. $1,501, seven nights

The Biggest Loser
Lose pounds alongside former show contestants. Experts also advise on nutrition and fitness. $1,295, seven nights

ALARMING:
Richard Simmons
Sweat with the fitness legend on his "Cruise to Lose." $1,245, seven nights

Macs
The 11th MacMania trip offered seminars on apps and social media. $1,888, seven nights

American Conservative Union
Get chummy with Rummy. $1,630, seven nights

Backstreet Boys
The ship docks in Nassau for a private beach party and BSB concert. $699, three nights

Star Trek
Past Cruise Trek cruisers have been joined by motley cast members. $899, seven nights

Prairie Home Companion
Garrison Keillor's cruise is already full. $1,900, seven nights

APOCALYPTIC:
Little House on the Prairie
Fans can sail with the cast—sans the late Michael Landon. $879, seven nights

Twilight
Fans were disappointed to learn the second annual cruise was canceled. $1,049, seven nights

Kid Rock
Getting wasted was the main form of entertainment on the Detroit rock renegade's April sea adventure. $899, four nights

Book of Mormon
Cruisers explore ports with significance to the religious text. $559, seven nights

Young American Foundation
Cruise with Karl Rove—for a hefty fee. $7,800, eleven nights

Titanic
Yes, a cruise honors the sunken ship. $1,490, twelve nights