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MAY 10, 2004
Trashing CEO Tomcats TESTOSTERONE INC. Tales of CEOs Gone Wild By Christopher Byron Wiley -- 402pp -- $27.95 The first thing one notices about Christopher Byron's new book is, of course, the cover. There's Jack Welch with a demented grin, a lipstick kiss on his forehead, and a cigar-chomping blonde perched on his head. Joining him on this modern-day Mount Rushmore is Dennis L. Kozlowski, Al Dunlap, and Ron Perelman. But is it fair to include a man who's still seen as one of the top CEOs in history in a group that also includes an alleged crook, a blustering has-been who sucked the life out of companies, and a billionaire who's better known for his glamorous wives than for his business acumen? Yes, Byron would say, since all these "celebrity CEOs" have proven excessively prone to vanity, greed, and sexual indulgence. The case against Welch rests on Byron's plentiful, if often anonymously sourced, evidence of lustful, bad behavior toward women. Of course, this is a writer who loves to snag the biggest fish he can find and serve them up as unfamiliar and sometimes unappealing entrées. This time, the result is the cheeky, mesmerizing, and sometimes out-of-bounds Testosterone Inc.: Tales of CEOs Gone Wild. Think of it as less a sober look into the lives of business titans than a giddy read for the beach, a book that's likely to be a best-seller. Only one of this gang -- Revlon (REV ) Chairman Perelman -- is still at the helm of a major company, and none of them, of course, talked to the author. Such setbacks would never stop Byron, who dissected Martha Stewart's life with equal glee in 2002's Martha Inc. As with the Stewart book, he seems to get more access to foes than friends of his protagonists, which spawns a one-sided, nothing-but-the-warts narrative. But neither that, nor the fact that much of what Byron details has been reported elsewhere, detracts from Testosterone's trashy appeal. After all, Byron set out to build a juicy group portrait of guys driven by their primal urges and, it seems, a surfeit of male hormones. That, he implies, is what compels powerful men to climb to the top and to bully and humiliate underlings. It's why some will chuck it all for a sexy new mate -- even if it means losing a fortune since the pre-nup with the previous gal has expired. As Byron puts it: "The answer lies not in their stars but in their skivvies." His characters could be straight out of pulp fiction. Dunlap, perhaps best known for destroying Sunbeam Corp. while egregiously enriching himself, is cast as an abusive boor who played up his penchant for corporate carnage by donning war paint and machine guns for a photo session. Perelman, who boasts the most wives and photos in the book, almost elicits sympathy as the tales of his compulsive skirt-chasing and desperate social climbing accumulate. Not so Kozlowski: The former Tyco International Ltd. (TYC ) chief's recent criminal trial, on charges of stealing from his company, has already alerted the world to his weakness for $6,000 shower curtains and birthday parties featuring ice sculptures of Michelangelo's David peeing vodka. Byron portrays the infamous party in Sardinia as a $2 million bore -- an assertion that's tantamount to kicking the image-obsessed Kozlowski right between the legs. That leaves Jack, who gets the most attention and, in some ways, the most venom from Byron. The author characterizes the former General Electric Co. (GE ) chairman as "a crude bully" prone to getting "purple with fury" and tripped up by an "out of control stammer." Among many episodes, Byron recounts Welch's 1960s bar-hopping with members of the "Jack Pack" and his recent affair with "brilliant, sassy, and infinitely manipulative" Suzy Wetlaufer, the former Harvard Business Review editor who is now his third wife. Even his second wife's reported infidelity with a tall, handsome limo driver is linked to Welch's apparent lack of interest in helping to solve her father's murder. Byron is also not enamored of Welch's widely lauded management style, which he describes as attention-grabbing and terrorizing. However, nothing Byron offers really challenges Welch's acknowledged record of accomplishment at GE. Moreover, Byron tests the rules of fair play -- and relevance -- by folding in scandalous details about the sexual behavior of Neutron Jack's associates, including a "business soul mate" who was busted during a homosexual liaison at a roadside rest area and an allegedly promiscuous former GE Plastics secretary who later killed herself. Such material is meant to imply something about GE's culture -- or perhaps it just helps in selling books. Either way, Byron will have you shaking your head in amazement by the time you finish Testosterone Inc. And could it be that his zest for investigating tomcat behavior derives from his own deep wellspring of male hormones? When, as a young journalism student, this reviewer went to interview Byron more than a decade ago, he was proudly sporting suspenders decorated with images of naked women. Ah, men.  By Diane Brady
BW MALL
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