Ding ding! We have a winner!

Posted by: Dean Foust on January 23

When we launched this column shortly before Christmas, I decided to have some fun and offer the reader who recounted the most miserable business trip would win a $25 Amex gift card. (And the winner is…

Richard Roberts of Yorktown Heights, N.Y. And here’s Roberts’ tale…

I live part-time in Poland for work and have spent Thanksgiving stuck in a country that does not celebrate it. In 2006, I decided to take a break from my time in Warsaw to fly home for Thanksgiving. So I was flying back to Warsaw Sunday night.

First of all, I did not have a very good route, flying through Chicago and London on my way to Warsaw. Flying through O’Hare on a holiday weekend is never a good idea and Heathrow is without a doubt the worst airport in the world to connect in…

Therefore, I was very much relieved when I found myself boarding the plane heading to Warsaw Monday morning. O’Hare was about as quiet as I have ever seen it, and despite going through security 3 times at Heathrow, I still made my connection.

So I am getting on the plane in London when they tell me that they have to change my seat assignment because the type of plane has been switched since I originally checked in 12 hours ago.

What they did not tell me was the reason why the plane was changed was because they needed a bigger plane to take the passengers from the earlier plane to Warsaw, which had been cancelled. It turns out that Warsaw was fogged in, as is somewhat common during this time of year. Since they have a radar system that dates back to the Soviets, planes are unable to land there in this situation. Why they cancelled a flight a couple hours earlier, yet they felt that flying this plane there is beyond me?

So we fly to Warsaw, and the captain first makes the announcement that the plane cannot land, but they had been anticipating this so they have enough gas to circle around for a couple of hours. So we circle around for 2 hours before they say that they cannot continue and have to divert to another airport. Since all of the other airports in Poland are full with planes that have been diverted from Warsaw, they have to land in Berlin.

We fly another hour back to Berlin and we sit on the runway for a couple of hours as British Airways tries to determine a plan for us. After another 2 hours sitting on the plane, they say that there are two options, I can get off the plane here and try to take a train to Warsaw or I can stay on the plane, fly back to London, they will get me a hotel and take the first plane back in the morning.

There is one train left to Warsaw that night, but you cannot book a reservation over the phone and 4 other planes have just been diverted to Berlin. Having just watched Planes, Trains, and Automobiles the night before, I figure that it is not worth the trouble and will just fly back to London.

Some people decide to get off, so it takes another couple of hours sorting out all of the luggage before we can take off again. Again, they don’t let us off the plane, so we have been sitting on this plane for an eternity at this point. Bear in mind, that the only thing I have eaten since 7 o’clock the night before is 1 airline meal to London a sandwich flying to Warsaw and another sandwich when we flew back to London.

It is 10 PM when we land in London. So instead of canceling the flight and spending the day working in London, I have spent 12 hours sitting in an airplane, after spending 12 hours getting to London.

By the time we get to the hotel it is 11 PM. They promised us a meal voucher. The only problem is that the restaurant closed at 10 PM, so there is no dinner tonight. They give us another voucher for breakfast, but the restaurant opens at 6, which is the exact time that the bus is leaving to bring us back to the airport.

So I check in again in the morning, and finally get myself something to eat. The plane has again expanded and is now a 767. The plane takes off, gets to Warsaw and captain get on the PA and says, "Warsaw is fogged in and we will have to circle for a while to see if we can land." We circle for another hour before he says that we need to divert to another airport and the closest one is Vienna, which is a lot further than Berlin.

Again, I have no idea why they did not cancel the flight and save us hours of sitting on a plane, but I again find myself sitting on the runway for a couple hours while they figure out a plan for us. They say that there are two options: I can fly back to London again and get the first plane tomorrow morning or they will hire a bus to drive to Warsaw. However, it will take a few hours to get a bus and the ride will take up to 10 hours.

This is a big step forward as at least you are ensured a way to get to Warsaw. Saying that I have had enough of the plane, I go to get off. When I am leaving the plane, they say that my bag will need to stay on the plane. Then they say that they will not be arranging the bus. We need to deal with the airport staff to arrange the bus. I could care less about the bag, but I say that there is no way I am going to let them just leave me in the airport to be somebody else’s problem.

Eventually, they agree that it is their responsibility to get the bus. Then they decide that they don’t want the headache of delivering the bags so they decide to take them off the plane which takes another hour. By the time we get off the plane it is 3:30 PM. After waiting an hour and a half, they tell us the bus will leave at 6 PM.

If you have ever driven on Polish roads, you will understand the pleasure of a 10-hour bus trip along them. The bus ride ends up taking 12 hours and I finally get to Warsaw at 6 AM Wednesday morning almost 60 hours after leaving my house at 4 PM Sunday afternoon.

To top it all off, the 767 which I flew on is one of the British Airways planes that they find nuclear radiation on linked to the poisoning of the ex-Russian spy living in London.

I just love to fly.