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Plamegate: The Movie

Posted by: Jon Fine on October 19, 2005

John Tierney had a very sensible explanation as to why he’s not written about the Judy Miller situation, and that’s what I’ve used to explain why I’ve kept quiet about it as well.

Until now.

Coming soon to a theater near you: Plamegate.

Judy Miller: Catherine Keener
Matt Cooper: Jack Black
Karl Rove: Philip Seymour Hoffman
Lewis “Scooter” Libby: Chris Cooper
Bill Keller: Harrison Ford
Arthur Ochs Sulzberger, Jr.: Richard Dreyfuss
Patrick Fitzgerald: Vince Vaughn
Jim Kelly: Brian Dennehy
Valerie Plame: Charlize Theron
Joseph C. Wilson: Dennis Quaid
Floyd Abrams: Wallace Shawn
Bob Novak: Anthony Hopkins

Reader Comments

dan tynan

October 20, 2005 12:48 PM

Jon, Jon, Jon,

I'm afraid I beat you to it. I cast the PlameGate movie back in July on my blog. (You'll find it at

Joe Wilson: Harrison Ford or Alan Alda.

Valerie Plame: Top contenders for the title role are Demi Moore and Julia Roberts.

Robert "No facts" Novak: The longtime Neocon newsboy will be played by hardnosed TV newsman Ed Asner (Lou Grant).

Karl "Turdblossom" Rove: Watch for Robert DeNiro in a dramatic comeback role as the Machiavellian master.

Lewis "Scooter" Libby: The evil yet banal Libby will be played by Owen Wilson, if only because every film needs somebody played by Owen Wilson.

Matt Cooper: The balding, funny Cooper will be played by the balding, funny Larry Miller.

Patrick Fitzgerald: Look for Sam Waterson to reprise his Emmy-winning role from Law and Order.

Judith Miller: Famed lesbian-turned-soccer-mom Anne Heche is the front runner to play Judy.

John Bolton: He'll be played by Ned Flanders from "The Simpsons."

Condoleezza Rice: For the film version, Janet Jackson beats out Jada Pinkett Smith and Halle Berry for the role and then stuns critics with a rousing screen debut (as well as some hilarious 'WMD malfunction' outtakes).

Scott McClelland: Rob Schneider (Deuce Bigalow) gets the nod here.

George W. Bush: Has to be Will Ferrell. In fact, GWB may be Will Ferrell. Has anyone ever seen them both in the same room at the same time?

Jon Fine

October 20, 2005 1:23 PM


You did. But surely we're not the only casting directors around here. Anyone else want to weight in?


RoweMoore Evans

November 5, 2005 2:25 PM


I think the blogger not only beat you to the punch, but also the punchline.


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