Survey: 80% of Working Moms Have to Work

HAVING SOME TIME FOR MY SELF. HAVING TIME TO HAVE MY HAIR DONE, NAIL, NICE MESSAGE AND GETTING WELL DRESS AND GO OUT WITH MY FRIEND FOR A VERY NICE DINNER OOH THIS SOUND REAL NICE. WHOOP!! WHAT A DREAM.

As a working mom, I absolutely agree that myself and other working moms I know, are overwhelmed with work and home life. Unfortunately, things sometimes get lost in the fray (gym, time for me, more quality time with my daughter). I recently came across this great website:

http://www.bettyconfidential.com

They have some great tips for moms and women in general, on how to fight the over-extended blues.

Ah, the ol' second income dilemna. (I assume we are talking about situations where there are two working parents.)Here is my take: many families "require" a second income, because they want a lot of STUFF. They want a bigger house, another car, designer clothing, the latest electronic gadget, private schools. Hey, and all that stuff is great - but there is a trade off.

I would be curious to see what the actual net take-home pay was from a second income once you take away the additional tax burden, child-care costs, clothing/hair care costs required for the job, lunches out, transportation costs, etc. Would the actual hourly rate be worth it? Could the difference be made up in more savvy shopping, eating out less, shopping yard sales, even homechooling?

"This I find a bit worrying. All mothers want to stay home rather than work? My sis-in-law (mother to 3) works both for the income and the satisfaction of having a role that she finds fulfilling and that will endure when being a hands-on mother ends. I wonder how many women would really be happy if they were told their family would earn the same $ each year, but that they could NOT do any work outside the home? I suspect that a lot of the issues have to do with the opportunities open to women and especially working women, and society's expectations of working mothers, expected by other mothers et al to be perfect mothers, while still being perfect employees."

"This I find a bit worrying. All mothers want to stay home rather than work? My sis-in-law (mother to 3) works both for the income and the satisfaction of having a role that she finds fulfilling and that will endure when being a hands-on mother ends. I wonder how many women would really be happy if they were told their family would earn the same $ each year, but that they could NOT do any work outside the home? I suspect that a lot of the issues have to do with the opportunities open to women and especially working women, and society's expectations of working mothers, expected by other mothers et al to be perfect mothers, while still being perfect employees."

Be careful what you wish for. Women enjoyed a lot of independence during the Roaring 20s, only to be basically forced out of the workplace in the Great Depression so that men could support their families. The same thing could easily happen in what The New York Times has dubbed "The Great Recession."

I work because I want to, I love my career. I would be a mess staying home.

I work because I have to, BUT work is the one place I truly feel in control.

I hate staying home and want to find a part time job. Where do I fit in????

Fair to say most *workers* -- moms or not -- work because they have to, not because they want to.

Nah - I like working and I don't have to.

I went back to work after five years at home not for the money but because I found being a housewife mind-numbing. But after a year of 55+hours/week, I long for more time with my family. When I was at home our household was a well-oiled machine and we were very efficient financially. Now we are a mess, spending so much more on food, childcare, and "fees", due to my lack of time and vigilance, that financially my working is practically a wash.

This is a poorly written headline...it kind of states the obvious and sounds stupid before you read the article.

What percent of dads say they HAVE to work? Until we stop making this a woman's issue/concern/problem, we're stuck in a never-ending loop. Wouldn't it be great if what we 'have' to do matches what we 'get' to do?

fellow blogger Cathy Arnst here. As a single mom I work because I have to, granted, but there is absolutely no question in my mind that if I won the lottery tomorrow I would still work. My own mother didn't work until I went to junior high, and I am well aware that she was absolutely miserable during the years when she was home.

What I don't get is why so many women seem to think work should be optional, a philosophy held by virtually none of the men I know. Why do we still think a man owes us a living? Riddle me that.

I work because I have to, being a single mom and all, but I like working. I would be a disaster if I stayed home. At work is the only time, I can actually hear myself think. I get away from all the "Mommy! Mommy!"

I'm going to extrapolate from Malcolm Gladwell (and every other sociologist in history and say that dads work because that's what they learn from growing up in that "traditional" family lifestyle. I give credit to my 2 "stay at home dad" friends for making that change. I don't think I could have done it. Gender roles and social pressure are huge factors socially.

I am taking the nature over nurture side of this argument. I have taken courses studying the differences between men and women and it appears that men are genetically more cut out for working long hours and for more years than women because men tend to be single-focused and goal-oriented (like the caveman hunting the deer). This research is based on interviews with thousands of men but I'm sure there are exceptions.

I like Kathy’s comment. My mother was a stay at home mom the entire time we were growing up and I think I am better off for it. My parents have always been good about saving and being frugal and investing and as a result, both my brother and were put through a four-year education at top private universities. Plus, I don’t have the memories of my mom always being gone or my parents being stressed out about money. Sometimes all it takes is a little planning and an attitude of living-within-your-means.

My wife is considering going back now because better than a decade as a stay at home mother has left her wondering who "Sandy" is. She has forgotten who she was before total commitment to others. It is a husband's role to insure his wife's balance is achieved that means extra house work even when you don't want to.

Don't forget the primary reason that some moms have to work.

It's not a second income for money. It's a second income for security. Even if, with daycare and all other costs associated with both people working, it ends up being a wash, and you're not gaining by having the second income, at least, when one earner loses their job, the family still has insturance and an income. If you're on one income, and that income loses a job, you're doomed to foreclosure and bankruptcy really quickly, especially if you have a family and are trying to cover COBRA costs. No one makes enough to build up 8 months of emergency funds, and that's not an unusual length of time for a job search these days.

My income is not the additional income, my husband's is. Yet somehow being the mommy I am SUPER stressed having the high stress job and trying to meet the demands of being a great mom. I don't think I could ever not work but I sure wish part time was an option. I think that would be the best of both worlds.