Who Does It Better: Mommy or Daddy?

Interesting post, Lauren! Once when my daughter was a toddler, I asked my husband to dress her while I went to the market. I came home and she was in a sun dress -- there was a foot of snow piled up in our front yard. I pointed to the pile of clothes that I had just folded to pack for a trip and asked why he didn't dress her in one of those outfits and he said he thought I'd be angry because I'd saved those to pack. That's when I realized that I needed to stop controlling everything and let him make decisions. Of course, that was right after I changed her into something much warmer.

Daddy is actually the best at changing poopy diapers, hehe. But mommy does it better, mainly because she spends the most time with the baby. We are socialized to have mommy be the primary caregiver, but then its the daddies that end up missing out! I have found that the more you tell daddy he's doing a great job, the more involved he is.

My husband is Russian and does mornings. In the past I have made the mistake of allowing him to choose their clothes and found them in plaid sweater/buttoned up striped shirt combos with their jeans pulled up to their rib cages and tightly belted. Somehow he combines their very American wardrobes for a cold-war era - USSR effect. So now I lay out their clothes every night and hide the belts.

Of course, this isn't the only issue we have but for the most part I try to limit my interventions to moments when lives are at stake!

Here's a couple of things to consider:

Doing it differently isn't necessarily wrong, just different - I'm reading between the lines "it's my way or else!". They're kids, not your Barbie doll set. Some diversity and variety in parenting styles may be beneficial.

I wouldn't put it completely past a percentage of my gender to bank on "if I don't do it the way she wants, she won't ask me again".

All of your arguments and observations come unraveled when you throw two daddies or two mommies in the discussion. My partner and I (two dads) are successes and screw ups equally. I seem to be better at some things he is better at others. The demands of our jobs (teacher vs Wall Street guy) are far more of a factor in who does what and who is better at what than gender.

Hi Lauren,
One of the three moms who launched JuiceBoxJungle here! I love this post and we would be so honored if you'd register your blog RSS URL with us so we can promote YOUR blog on our home page. Click here to do it - we want to show you off! :) http://www.juiceboxjungle.com/write-for-us

I think the videos on juiceboxjungle are really funny and i love how they touch on current topics. But I don't know if I agree with this one. I thought they made the dads look just a little too out of left field in the parenting dept. I don't know, maybe i'm in la la land, but with twins, my husband and I knew it was going to be A LOT of work, so we planned for it and with two i don't think we had the time/energy to 'sweat' the smaller stuff.

Yes, I am generally a control freak and bit of a micromanager... but apart from the outfits (what is up with PJ bottoms to preschool?!!) I don't have that much to complain about. In my house its not that Dad does stuff wrong, its more that he does different stuff completely! He tends to choose to do the fun stuff (pizza, ice-cream, wrestling) and so I am left doing the boring stuff (veggies, homework, manners). I want to do the fun stuff!!

I scored in the Daddy department, so I try not to complain too much. I know women who end up doing it all because they have convinced their husbands they can't do anything right. Ladies, a crooked diaper, a late night here and there, a sugary Slurpee combined with a donut that makes your child bounce of the walls - breathe deep and let it go... So many of us complain about no "me time", but if you can convince your hubby he can do anything, you'll likely be surprised at how how much "me" time you get! Its good all around because this crazy time with Dad builds a truly special bond. A bond that will most likely rival the one you have with them!