Sarah Palin's Work-Family Conflict

Bristol is not sacrificing her child and her mother is not asking her to sacrifice anything. In fact, most conservatives are not prying into this at all.

Unfortunately it is media, like yourself, who "marvel at the irony" of this not exactly perfect situation. Bristol has to sacrifice some privacy but you are the cruel invasion, not her mother's career choice or the conservative party. I think Bristol is demonstrating a strength rarely seen and rarely celebrated in young women.

I, for one, am so grateful to live in a time where none of the presidential candidates have picture perfect lives and are, in fact, black, female, in second marriages, children of single (teenage) mothers, all have endured painful pasts and all have persevered. All of them.

As a single mother myself, I am so grateful to finally have such role models so that my baby son doesn't think that we are doomed without his dad around. And I think that Bristol has become one hell of a role model herself.

Role model? Surely you jest... I think her mother, our heartbeat away from leader of the free world, Sarah Palin, might have done better by her daughter had she taught Bristol about the always dreaded by the conservatives, birth control!

To clarify up-front: Is this discussion about the challenges faced by working parents balancing the pursuit of a career with the raising of a child/family? Or is it about the politicization of Bristol Palin’s pregnancy? I see hints of both arguments in both of the above posts. I will discuss the former, and assume that Working Parents is the intended discussion here.

As a Marine Officer stationed abroad for the last eight years; I have met and been responsible for many families and children who have left the familiar confines of the life that they knew to re-build and re-establish them in another country. I am in a job where the boundaries between personal and professional life are not necessarily clear. There are definite challenges associated with this, but families pull together and adjustments are made. Are these necessarily considered sacrifices, or simply experiences that families/children go through, adapt to, and evolve from?

As children we learn from and in certain ways emulate the experiences of our parents. If you are a strong single-mother, chances are that your daughter will want to grow up and be tough and independent like mom. If you are a politician like Sarah Palin who naturally lives in the public eye because of her already chosen career path, your family has already grown up in that environment, expects the attention, and will adjust to it. To shelter them from re-location, public-attention, and/or different cultures that are regular factors in our modern lives deprives them of what could otherwise been perceived as a rich experience.

I believe that the goal of parenting should be to teach your children to deal with challenges and adversities, and grow from them; not shelter them from it.

Could it be Sarah Palin that’s being asked to make too big of a sacrifice as potentially someone who will have a great influence in shaping the environment that her daughter and grand-daughter will live in?

Cedric,

I like your last question. I guess the answer may be that the sacrifice would be asking Sarah palin NOT to use her talents to make the world a better place for her kids.

A,

Not a perfect pregnancy but who are you to say that she didn't do right by her daughter? I bet she will feel she did just fine when she is holding her grandson in her arms. The fruits of her parenting will be evident in the choices her daughter makes as a young mother. The one choice we all know about is that she did not evade responsibility. She and her boyfriend are embracing it. That is admirable to me.

Kirsten, Cedric:

In response to some of your comments, I want to make clear that the sacrifice that I think Bristol Palin has made is the making public of her personal situation.

It's easy reflex to blame the press for this invasion. But even if no other details were dug up on Bristol beyond her parents statement about her pregnancy, she would still be the topic of discussion on the convention floor and, yes, around kitchen tables.

Her mom, if she is the savvy politician she is made out to be, must have known that this would happen and yet chose a path that would bring scrutiny to her daughter.

It's true politicians' children are used to the limelight. If that's so, I'm glad for it. But remember, being in the limelight in Alaska and prior to that in Wasilla, isn't the same as being in the national limelight. And yes, survival can build character. That doesn't mean that we should put our kids in harms' way.

Both of you suggest that had Sarah Palin decided not to join McCain's ticket, she would be depriving her daughter not only of a role model but of the chance for a better world because of all the good Palin is capable of doing. That's an interesting suggestion. If I were Palin, I would have asked: Is running for the vice presidency the only way I can serve my country? Also, is this the only time I can serve my country?

Lourdes,

You, of course, may disagree with Sarah Palin's politics but it is disgraceful for you to suggest she should have forgone the opportunity to serve our country in a chance of a lifetime just to keep her daughter's pregnancy under wraps. Imagine how her daughter would feel knowing that she brought so much shame to her mother that she turned down the chance to make history.

Last year, my husband left me for another woman. People asked, though not directly, wasn't I being selfish to keep my baby, what with us already having a broken home. And one girl in particular would very much have loved to see me abort or miscarry, but I did not. I do not have the capacity to abort but that is irrelevant for this discussion. What is relevant is that since finding myself alone and pregnant, I began a new career, got divorced, got promoted, gave birth, finished my MBA, am training for the NYC marathon, all while being an involved, adoring mother to my son. I am not ashamed of having chosen to keep him. I am damn proud of it and I hope Bristol and Sarah Palin feel the same way about the little baby when he or she is born.

Do not underestimate what motherhood can do, Lourdes. Perhaps it is that intense inspiration and pressure that will insire Sarah Palin and Bristol to be the complete women that they were meant to be. As for this converstaion, I think it is enough talking about this teenager's situation. I have defended my position but I no longer want to continue what I feel is inappropriate. So I will not post any more.

As the mother of a young, single mother-to-be, who also happens to be serving our country in the military, I would like to put in my two cents on this issue. I am so tired of the media referring to Bristol Palin as "Sarah Palin's pregnant daughter". The pregnancy does not define Bristol's identity. My daughter, too, has chosen to keep her baby. This is a move that I find both admirable and a little scary. My daughter was taught about birth control, but hey, stuff happens. I am in no way, shape, or form embarrassed by the fact that my daughter is unwed and pregnant. I find it admirable that Sarah and Bristol Palin are facing the public life in spite of the position they find themselves in. I do not feel that Sarah is putting any undue stress on Bristol by choosing to pursue the path of vice-presidential candidate. She made the choice that was right for herself, her family, and hopefully, her country. God Bless all single mothers be they teens or 40+!!

I do think that Sarah Palin needs to be at home caring for her family. She has a 5 month-old baby, and a pregnant daughter who need her at home. They need her more than we do...:). That said I love her politics, and will be voting for McCain in November.

Weird how people like Palin has strong "antiabortion" and "religious" convictions but then they don't really think much of premarital sex.

Look, I am prochoice just as we make our own decision as to when we have sex or with whom, then we should also have a right to "doom our souls" and make our own decision as to whether or not we want to have a child. Who is Palin or McCain or the who Republician sect to tell me what I should do?

If you want to be a role model, then please don't come flaunting premarital sex & teenage pregnancy like its a badge of honor. Guess Jamie Lynn Spears is also a role model for my teenage daughter...WoW SCARY!

If you want to be a role model, practice safe sex. Palin would have done Bristol a favor by teaching her about birth control.

She's a hockey mom, who cares? And her keeping her child with down syndrome instead of having an abortion. And? Talk about publicizing off of the handicap! And wasn't that a personal decision? Her daughter's teenage pregnancy has nothing to do with her qualifications, however, it should make everyone think that she has 5 children, one that is handicap and needs special attention from his mother. She will also be raising her grandchild because her daughter is still a child herself.

Also, I do think her teenage daughter's pregnancy is relevant to the type of parenting and her support for abstinence only (which we know doesn't work). If she was smart she would support sexual education for teenagers in the future since her daughter is going to be a teenage, unwed mother. She is a extreme far right winger, and is against abortion in all aspects, even in cases of incest or rape. This is shocking and sad to me and this is when my feminism kicks in. She obviously is uneducated in all aspects of life. With her extreme conservative views, she needs to go back home and be a housewife and take care of her babies. They need her more than the American people!

So sad, all to gain votes by publicizing off of her teenage pregnant daughter & her child with Downs... SAD

I completely agree with Julia! So many women suffer from mommy guilt and get all wrapped up in Sarah's story of being a hockey mom to 5 with real life family issues...i.e pregnant daughter and special needs child..BUT..this has completely distracted so many of us from the real issues...such as the economy, the GIGANTIC deficit, and the fact they we are potentially putting this country right back into the hands of the very party who is ironically claiming change only bc it was working for Obama...Lets get back to the real issues...Sure lets put our country first and vote for a change for the issues..not for the pretty girl that the Republicans are dangling infront of us as a distraction!!! Please people we are so much more than this surface foolery!!!

Sick, sick, sick.

Nothing else can be sadder than the way some of you women, moms and wives think and pretend to be. How awful, you believe in abortion after holding your own babies in your arms. GOOD for you Kirsten, you are the very definition of American! You strived, you pulled through, you accomplished! You did not lay down and die and abort your precious son due to a failed marriage. You pulled yourself up and marched on, you did not use your situation as an excuse to be a welfare mother, murder your unborn son, or for that matter just be a drain on society in general. I am sick of the media, the author of this ridiculous article included, the famous actors, liberal as hell, who have nothing in common with us in anyway, yet seem to influence so many of us in insane ways. Sarah Palin is a shining example of what women should be, and a lot of them aren't. You think Michelle Obama is a role model?? Her glorious speeches and all...she is so Family First?? What about the unborn children she or her husband will not defend?? Are they not the weak and voiceless, never had a chance they so valiantly claim to defend?? A vision of hypocrisy if I have ever seen one. And the economy Shu?? As sure as I am sitting here typing..this 'recession' will end as soon as the elections are over. Are you so blind as to not notice the media crying 'recession' always creates fear and panic, thus putting us in one. And how funny, a massivly liberal man running for president offering 'hope and change' but really nothing but big government and higher taxes and once again..ultimately putting the middle class into more taxes and helping the ones who contribute nothing but excuses a free ride on everything. Shame on you. WAKE UP! How much more of a role model and example to her children than to change the world with good and perserverance and truth than to be VP??

How can a 17year old girl with no career in sight really want to have a baby? And get married at the same time. OBviously this pregnancy is a mistake, not planned and now because of her parents barbaric pro-life beliefs is being forced into getting married and having a baby.I feel sorry for the baby. That is what is sick..and we wonder why we have troubled youth in the world? This is NOT the example that I want to set for young girls. I had a pregnancy when I was 18 and just starting college and I made the right choice. I went on to have a great career and when I was ready had 3 beautiful children that I am able to support and rear properly. What could have I possibly done at 18 for a child?

Stacey, We live in a nation like America so we all have the right to choose. I am a proud mother of a baby girl and wouldnt change it for anything!!! But please for a second think about the real issues this country faces and not get all tangled in the lives of unborn babies. EVERYONE should be given the freedom to choose and regardless of whether or not you agree, that is for that person and their God to decide..NOT the GOV'T..You say Obama wants bigger Govt..isnt bigger Gov't inviting the GOVT to make decisions about women's bodies...I agree with you, Sarah Palin is a shining example IF you share her beliefs and even if you didnt that is what makes this country great...Clearly you like the direction the country is going..failed education standards (i.e I used to be a teacher for 10 yrs), people losing their homes, economy is slumps..clearly ur not struggling..if u were...u wouldnt be as blind to think that this is all propaganda..judge the election by the issues madam and not ur moral standards...but then again..if morals were to play a part in this thing...it would encourage you think twice before voting for a party who has done nothing but lie and boast change just to win an election!

one more thing...since when is making $250,000 or more considered middle class? Those are the people that will get taxed!!! 95% of us will have lower taxes...pay attention please!!!!

Jayne, you did not have a "pregnancy" at 18, you carried a baby. If you had a miscarriage with one of your precious 3 living children when you were, say 8 weeks pg, would you say, "No big deal, it wasn't a baby, just a pregnancy"? No, that was a human life. What did you have to offer a baby at 18, probably no more than this young lady does. But people make it. Not that premarital sex is right, but it happens, and there are a lot of successful people who are products of young pregnancies. I just wish you would see that this is a life we are talking about. When you choose to lay down and create a life, you lay down your own life, ready or not. Bristol is doing the right thing. And so is Sarah Palin by being the first one to bring it up. If the media had brought it up before her, anything she said in defense would have been taken as trying to backpedal. So, hey, be the first one to air your own business. It shows humility and transparency; good traits in a leader.

How quickly the soapboxes come out :o)!
The original topics:
Irony: Sarah Palin being a conservative speaks out against premarital sex, and Bristol her 17 year old daughter becomes pregnant before married. Yes, that is irony. Without cynicism, it is also a chance for broadening the minds of fairly rigid individuals. I thought of a few years ago as Bill Clinton was under scrutiny for his extra-marital affairs and Liberals were criticized for their laxity in family values and lack of role models within their families. I feel that conservatives are sometime righteous. In this case concerning Bristol becoming pregnant, (without being ill-natured) I wondered why the conversation became so different from "laxity in family values", and its reflection on parenting. If Bristol had been the child of a Democrat, would this have been "off-limits" or discussed as "what to expect" from the liberal life-style. I think that is what Lourdes meant by irony.

Work Conflict: I became pregnant at 22. Single with a new career, I never thought twice about having my daughter. (I did appreciate that I had the right to make a decision- and had my pregnancy been the result of a violent act out of my control, I may have chosen differently.) Those thoughts aside, I NEEDED my mom. I sustained judgments without any cameras and microphones in my face. My daughter being biracial seemed to give others the invitation to share their views on whether it was fair to her, to me, to the world...I understand the notion that this may be difficult for Bristol in an environment of scrutiny, especially without the caring and pampering attention that a Mom can give to a daughter. To run a strong race and if elected, office- Sarah Palin would have to be divided at best, and ultimately not very present.
Sacrifice: Giving something up...her childhood, her mother's attention, her privacy. If that she could be honest, what would Bristol really want? Not that we would ever know- but in the situation of being older, finished with school, and out of the public eye...I wanted people to stop telling me what they think, what to do, and how to do it. How about millions upon millions of views (including my own) of people you don’t know, and who don’t know you having an opinion of what you should do, what your mom should do, whether you should be married or not, and what will happen. I think that wide open window to the world for a young girl is a sacrifice. She will need to decide if it is worth it or not, but with no control to change it.