The Wife Job

Posted by: Cathy Arnst on August 27

I’m about to go public with a secret few people from my current world know: When I was a senior in high school I won the Betty Crocker Homemaker Of Tomorrow award. OK, stop laughing. It was based on a multiple choice test that I signed up for only because it got me out of two class periods. I happened to get the highest score, a surprise to everyone, especially me. It came with a shot at a $1500 scholarship (which I didn’t win), a charm bracelet and a letter, hand signed by Betty Crocker, stating “You now have the satisfaction of knowing you are prepared for the most rewarding career a woman can have—that of a homemaker.” Words I will never forget, because even back then, in tiny Portville NY, where no woman I knew had a professional career, I had a feeling that the world contained more rewarding careers than that of a homemaker. And yet, and yet…I am regularly reminded that much of the nation still thinks like Betty Crocker.

In the letters to the editor column of the New York Times today, there was this missive in response to a piece about the miniscule progress women have made in politics:

Recently I received a newsletter pitch to buy back-to-school supplies that started with the words: “The thought of leaving Mom’s home cooking and Dad’s math tutoring can be traumatic”… As in the old days, moms are good for their home skills and dads are for the serious stuff. The newsletter is run by a woman.

Then there was Michelle Obama’s speech Monday at the Democratic convention. This is a highly accomplished woman, a Harvard-educated lawyer who earned well into the six figures as a hospital administrator. But as The New York Times approvingly noted:

Mrs. Obama’s presentation touched just a bit on her own career, as a lawyer, community organizer and hospital executive, concentrating instead on her roles as a daughter, a mother, a sister and a wife.

Or how about newly named vice-presidential candidate Joe Biden, discussing his wife Jill, who holds a doctorate in education, again in the New York Times

“My wife, Jill, who you’ll meet soon, who’s drop-dead gorgeous. She also has a doctorate degree, which is a problem.”
(To be fair, the Times goes on to say that Biden is “proud, if slightly intimidated” by her multiple degrees).

BusinessWeek added more evidence, in this story on a new study from UC-Berkeley examining the surprisingly high number of Harvard graduates with MBAs who have dropped out of the work force to become stay-at-home mothers. Professors Catherine Wolfram and Jane Leber Herr followed the careers of nearly 1,000 women who graduated from Harvard between 1988 and 1991, using biographical data culled from 10th and 15th anniversary reunion surveys. By the time they were 15 years out of college, 28% of the Harvard women who went on to get their MBAs were stay-at-home moms. Of those who became lawyers, 21% had dropped out at the 15 year mark (Interestingly, only 6% of women who got medical degrees had opted out, refuting a common worry in the medical profession that woman doctors aren’t committed to their profession). The story quotes lots of experts with lots of theories on why this might be, including this one:

Another consideration is that many of these women are married to men who are just as ambitious as they are, said Joan Williams, director of the Center for WorkLife Law at the University of California…Men who are in the upper ranks of their profession with stay-at-home-wives earn 30% more than men who are married to women who work, she said. Those men who want to reach the highest rungs of their career and earn the most money often need a stay-at-home wife to take care of all other aspects of their life, including raising a family, Williams said. “And since many women in business school marry those men, they end up being stay-at-home wives, regardless of their own vision of what they wanted from their careers,” Williams said.

As I’ve written before, and I’m sure I’ll write again, it amazes me that, despite the fact that 70% of mothers with children under 18 work, despite the fact that less than 8% of professional women born since 1956 have left the workforce for more than a year, so many out there still think that “a homemaker is the most rewarding career a woman can have.” Here’s an idea. Why not start a company that hires out “professional wives” so everyone can get themselves a happy homemaker? If wife is such a great career, let’s at least get paid for it.

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