Cancer in the Workplace

Posted by: Lauren Young on May 23, 2008

According to the most recent issue of BusinessWeek, one in three Americans will be diagnosed with cancer. Cancer is expected to become the nation’s biggest killer within a decade, surpassing heart disease. Lately, unfortunately, I’ve had a firsthand look at how cancer affects the workplace.

The story of my friend Kristin, who is veterinarian, is the most real—and raw—for me. Since we met in the winter of 2004, Kristin has been juggling her job along with caregiving duties for her daughter Julia as well as her husband Mario, who was diagnosed with leukemia.

Together with more than a dozen other moms, Kristin and I (along with our babies) were part of a playgroup that met ritually every Wednesday afternoon in someone’s apartment. The image of 15 four-month-old babies lying like blobs on a big blanket is one that I’ll never forget. Ditto for the image I have of Julia, who came to my son’s first birthday/Halloween party dressed as a bumblebee. She arrived in a stroller fast asleep and spent the first half of the party dozing in corner. Our mom’s group bonded over sleep training and diaper rash, but I think I gravitated to Kristin because we were both part of the minority who planned to return to work full-time after maternity leave.

I always marvel at the way Kristin juggles her job with caregiving. She did her best to be at every doctor’s appointment, every diagnostic test, and every emergency room admission (too many to count, unfortunately). Through the ups and downs, Kristin never seems to be stressed out about work, despite the need to take time off at a moment’s notice.

In fact, Kristin’s boss, whom I’ve never met—I don’t even know her name—is to be commended for giving Kristin such incredible support. I recently asked Kristin about her job, and she said she feels really lucky to work for someone who bends over backwards to help her out.

For the past four years, Kristin has been sending emails at odd hours with “Mario update” in the subject line. Sometimes the news was good—Mario’s chronic cough eventually started to subside, and other times it wasn’t so good, such as a recent email when she announced that Mario also had a rare form of lymphoma, a huge setback just as he was starting to make a lot of progress.

The hardest email she will ever have to write came earlier this week: “Mario passed away on Tuesday morning, around 6:45 am. He fought long and hard. He took everything they threw at him, and never complained. I will miss him. He was my soulmate, my best friend. There are not enough words to describe how I feel. I really thought he would pull through, because he always has…”

I’ve included a photo of Mario, who was a photographer himself, below. It was taken just a few days before he died. You can read more about Mario and Kristin on the mamabirddiaries, a blog written by another fabulous mom in our playgroup.

Although I am a writer, there are no words to express how sad I am for Kristin, Julia, and the rest of Mario’s network of friends and family.

Alas, my encounters with cancer don’t end there. I wish they did. A few weeks ago, I had to take a day off to go to Philadelphia after a cousin died of leukemia. He was just 22 and literally on the cusp of making it big as a drummer.

Next Tuesday morning, while other colleagues are gathering around the water cooler, recapping their Memorial Day weekends, I’ll be at the hospital with my friend Steven as he gets his second round of chemotherapy.

When Steven first asked me if I could be his “chemo date,” I was a little apprehensive to ask my editor if I could come into the office late that day, especially after a long weekend. But when I explained the situation, she simply waved her hand, and said my friend was more important.

I realize two exemplary bosses who put an employee’s needs ahead of their own aren’t necessarily the norm. I’d love to hear from Working Parents about the way cancer has impacted your job. Do you try to pick up the slack for a colleague who is ill? Does your boss support your caregiving responsibilities for friends or family members?

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