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WORK, WORK, WORK!!

Posted by: Anne Tergesen on September 27

Sometimes, I feel like a machine: the laundry, the blog, the email, the homework, the grocery shopping, the birthday party planning, the research reports-—and that’s just what I’ve done since I arrived home at 6:30 tonight.

I think most working parents can relate. I used to look for ways to carve out a little free time (generally, by going to bed way too late). One of my sisters, the mother of two young boys, recently called to complain about the constant demands on her time. Between work-work, housework, and volunteer work in her son’s school, she’s feeling petty burnt out and resentful. My advice? Get used to it, resign yourself. Sure, as the kids get older, they’re able to entertain themselves and take care of their basic needs. But life also gets more complex—-and she’ll have to find time to shuttle them to and from activities, oversee homework, and figure out what they and their friends are up to on the computer.

I also told her that while she and I are lucky to work part-time, such a schedule can make free time an even more elusive goal. Why? Part-timers have the illusion that we have time to “do it all:” host playdates, visit our parents, and work extra hours on our days “off.” My typical routine on Wednesdays, a day at home, is a case in point: While the kids are in school, I cram in a quick run, answer email, write this blog or conduct an interview or two. I do laundry. After school, I take one child to chess, while hosting a playdate for another. I check my email. I do more laundry. I unpack groceries. I make phone calls to plan future playdates. I try to figure out what to cook (or order) for dinner. I finish my blog. I oversee homework. I try to read the newspaper. I might even outline an article or read a research report. Often, serious work gets deferred until the kids are in bed at night.

Rest? Relax? Downtime? Sister—dream on!

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Reader Comments

Nataly

September 27, 2007 10:02 AM

I can really relate - as I was reading your post I was nodding. Sometimes that's exactly how I feel - like a machine (and today, like one that's running out of fuel:) Thank you for sharing this so honestly.

Nataly
CEO of Workitmom.com

Marcia

September 27, 2007 08:10 PM

As we speak, I am considering my immediate future and lack of time....I have recently had my second daughter, and 2 weeks before then, moved to a new state and city.... However I have had the "false" luxury of a nanny while on maternity leave. On the surface, that automatically gets me personal time, but in reality, I am b-feeding, pumping, trying to get my 2.5 yo acclimated to a new school, a new home, and a new nanny, on top of trying to stay on top of the laundry, groceries, unpacking the new house completely, running the general household errands (why not I have lots of "free time") try to make new friends in a new town...oh and did I mention the nanny - whom my 2 yo resents, and b-feeding, b-feeding, b-feeding. Yes I have to let go of the idea of my time. I just keep on moving, knowing the machine is about to crank into HIGHER gear, once I go back to work in a few weeks....and in the midst of this, I am trying to relish my moments with my hubby and my girls, because I know these moments are fleeting....how does one keep up????

Erin Hurry

October 7, 2007 09:03 PM

I can also relate. I think every single Monday that I will have 1 day or atleast a few hours that week, to myself...to read, go for a walk, actually buy a new piece of clothing . It never turns out that way. I end up using those precious hours, minutes to finally put away the laundry that has cycled from basket to floor to washing machine and back to basket or to keep up with helping friends in their business. If I ever do get a vacation I won't know how to handle it! Thanks for the article, it helps to remind me I am not alone.
Erin
Girls with Goals

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In this blog, BusinessWeek’s Lauren Young, Cathy Arnst, Diane Brady, Karyn McCormack, Anne Newman, Mauro Vaisman, Lourdes L. Valeriano, and Joy Katz, Mark Hyman, along with freelance writer Savita Iyer-Ahrestani, lead a broad discussion of the issues and day-to-day concerns of working parents, offering up interviews with work/life experts, examinations of relevant research, and their personal accounts of bouncing between separate, sometimes conflicting worlds.