The New Fad: Bigger Families

Posted by: James Mehring on August 06

I am avid Public Radio fan. So while my family was driving around to do errands we listened to Weekend Edition Sunday. Sometime after the Sunday puzzle with Will Shortz and Daniel Schorr’s weekly commentary my ears perked up when I heard the intro to a story about mothers having more children. Here’s the summary from NPR’s web site:

The newest status symbol for the nation’s most affluent families is fast becoming a big brood of kids. Historically, the country-club set has had the smallest number of kids. But in the past 10 years, the number of high-end earners who are having three or more kids has shot up nearly 30 percent. Some say the trend is driven by a generation of over-achieving career women who have quit work and transferred all of their competitive energy to baby making. They call it “competitive birthing.”

After listenig to the story, I asked myself if money was not an issue would I want more than two or three children. Based on my recent experiences I would say no.

Then I wondered if having a bigger family just because you can afford to and because it is trendy really the best determinants in making such judgments? I suspect that finances are now is a bigger factor in decisions on family size than in the past for just about everyone. But this story put a new, counterintuitive perspective on the role of money.

That led me to another thought. Will these kids really be better adults years from now? Having wealthier parents will likely get them into the best schools. But I get the sense that the kids aren’t getting a whole lot more personal time or attention with their parents than my daughter. Many of these mothers are relying on nannies and lots of paid help. According to Virginia Smith the director of Wellesley Nursery School:

They’re hiring consultants to do the toilet training, to teach them to ride the two-wheelers, to teach them to tie their shoes, it’s like the kid gets head lice, and the nit-picker comes and picks the head lice out!

As a working Mom, Lyn is constantly filled with anxiety and guilt over whether or now she is spending enough time with our daughter. I also wonder what I’ve missed when I leave work late and count up how little time I actually spent with my daughter that day. If we had the money we would spend as much time as we possibly could with our daughter and any future children. To me the joy of parenting is seeing a child grow, helping them to learn, and witnessing all the tiny milestones. It’s the daily accomplishments, setbacks and general craziness of family life that makes being a parent so fun, frustrating and memorable.

I would love to know what other working parents think. If you or your partner made more money would you stay at home and have more children? What’s your view of larger families as a symbol of social status? And can having more children really provide a sense of achievement?

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