Dinner With Dad

Posted by: Lauren Young on June 01

Ever wonder what it would be like to make it home for a family dinner a few nights a week? Well, Cameron Stracher committed himself to spending an entire year cooking dinner for his family. Little did he know that his experiment had all of the makings to be a recipe for a disaster.

I recently caught up with Stracher, a professor at New York Law School, who chronicles his experiences in his new book Dinner with Dad: How I Found My Way Back to the Family Table. (Random House)

Here are edited excerpts of our conversation.

What prompted this experiment?
I’m a law professor, and I teach in New York City, but I live in an expensive Connecticut suburb, and I’m can’t afford to live there on my salary. That’s why I’ve always done consulting work. I took a job with a media company in Kansas City while I was teaching. I was commuting regularly to Kansas City each week, getting up at 4 a.m. to get a 6:45 a.m. flight from La Guardia to Kansas City. I spent a couple of days working there, and then I’d return to New York on a 7 p.m. flight, which got me home around midnight. And then I’d get up the next morning at 6:30 a.m. and head to my law school job in New York City.

It was insane. I’d come home at night, and everyone would be sleeping. The breaking point came one night when I sitting in my dark kitchen, looking out into my dark garden, thinking, ‘I’ve got to stop this.’ I was really depressed.

So why did you decide to stay home and cook dinner?
I’m a Type-A person. I work well with rules and structure. I always have. I wanted to do something that would force me to make a change. If not, inertia would keep moving me along.

I have always enjoyed cooking. My wife and I met in Iowa City. Part of our courtship and romance was through food. The idea of being home and cooking with my family at dinnertime seemed like a good way to get back to the house. I told my agent I was doing it, and he thought it was a great idea for a book

Why didn’t you just pick up and move to Kansas City?
I took the job thinking I’d try it out for while. We toyed with moving, and we even spoke to a real estate agent. But my wife is from Idaho, and I’m from New York, so the thought of moving to the Midwest with no family connections just to get a bigger house and a smaller mortgage didn’t seem worth it. It’s something I think about a lot, but I know we made the right choice.

You had a lot of noble ideas about family togetherness, but things didn’t turn out as planned.
My wife has always been impressed by my cooking. I went into this thinking my kids would feel the same way. They would be so wowed by my creations that they would overcome a typical diet of macaroni and cheese. Of course, they hated what I made. And they even hated my mac and cheese because I made it with good cheese and fresh bread crumbs that I browned myself.

I literally started losing my temper when they wouldn’t eat my food. I told them they were ungrateful. And then I realized this is defeating the whole purpose of this experiment

And your wife also freaked out?
Although she missed me when I was traveling, and she said she loved me, she had gotten used to having this life of her own in Westport. Once I was around, writing in my little office, snacking and making coffee, it was “too much togetherness.” Those were her words. That made me mad. I said to her: “I don’t have a problem with you being here. Doesn't this house belong to both of us?”

Did you have culture shock being around the house so much?
The first couple of weeks were great. I had quit my job. The money problems hadn’t settled in yet. The kids didn’t eat everything, but it didn’t bother me. By the end of the month, the kids were rejecting a lot of stuff. Around two months, my wife was sick of me. It was the dead of winter. I had real serious doubts about whether I done the right thing, and then I had some money problems. Around midyear is when it hit rock bottom. It does have a happy ending, though. But I won’t spoil it.

What did you make that your kids like?
They love my black bean burritos, and that’s healthy. (Recipe below.) I make them without lard. And I fill them with good stuff. Burritos are great for kids because you can customize a burrito any way you want. The only thing bad thing is that is not a quick recipe because you have to soak and cook the beans, but once you make the beans they stay good for a least a week.

What else will they eat?
I ended up making about 40 different things. My daughter ate six of them—in my book, six out of 40 isn’t bad, because she already ate another three or four things regularly. Now she eats 10 things. My son liked a lot more. He was wiling to experiment and go beyond plain pasta and chicken nuggets. My daughter added burritos, hamburger, homemade pasta, fried chicken, and homemade pizza. We have a video on You Tube making gnocchi. My son also started eating shrimp, tomato sauce, couscous, falafel, egg rolls, and Chinese noodles.

What won’t they eat?
They don’t like spicy peanut noodles for some reason. They hated the scrod. I made white chili and tofu loaf. That was gross. They didn’t like my cassoulet.

What’s your favorite cookbook?
Marcella Hazan’s Classic Italian Cookbook, although it’s probably not the most kid-friendly cookbook.

What did you learn from this experiment?
Our lives have changed a lot. My wife has tried to be less annoyed at me, and I’ve tried to be more understanding of her need to be solitary.

How often are you getting home for dinner now?
I’m still home four or five times a week. I’m not counting any more. I’m not keeping strict score. I’m lazier about food, but dinner time has become a real part of our lives. When I leave in the morning, my son will say “Are you coming home late or early dad?” If I say I am coming home early, he asks: “What’s for dinner?”

Cameron Stracher's Black Bean Burritos:
Note: overnight preparation preferred

Ingredients:
1 package of black beans, soaked overnight
1 medium-sized onion
1 garlic clove
Salt, to taste
Large tortilla shells
Cheese (Monterey Jack or Cheddar), shredded
Optional: olives, salsa, tomatoes, guacamole, peppers, onions

Directions:
1. The trick to these burritos is to make sure the black beans have been soaked overnight. If you can’t soak overnight, cover with water, bring to a boil, then let sit for 1 hour.
2. Rinse and drain water from black beans, then place beans in a medium sized pot and cover with water (the beans should be about 3/4 inch below water).
3. Bring to a boil, add 1 medium onion (diced), and 1 pressed garlic clove.
4. Reduce heat to very low. Simmer (without cover) for the next 4 – 5 hours, stirring occasionally. Eventually, the beans will begin to stick to the bottom of the pot. Scrape them up, and stir well.
5. Add enough salt to taste. When the beans are cooked so thoroughly that they begin to look like a black paste with the occasional bean floating around, they are ready.
6. To make the burritos, heat a large tortilla on a skillet and sprinkle with cheese. When the cheese begins to melt, remove to a plate.
7. Drop a heaping tablespoon (or two) of beans in the front center quadrant of the tortilla.
8. Add anything else you like on top of the beans (olives, tomatoes, salsa, guacamole, green onions, peppers)
9. Fold in the edges of the tortilla, and then roll up.

This meal can be served with a side of plain jasmine rice.

Guacamole

Ingredients

2 soft, ripe avocados (preferably Hass variety)
1 tsp. lemon juice
1 tblspn. sour cream
salt to taste
1 tblspn salsa (preferably Mrs. Renfros)

Directions:

1. Peel, pit, and mash avocados with a fork.
2. Add sour cream, lemon juice, salsa, and salt to taste

Serve with tortilla chips.

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