New (old) parents

I'm thinking no woman should be allowed to be in charge of small children while she herself is going through menopause. But, that's just me (age 48), on a particularily bad peri-menopausal day.

I had my first son at 34 - I was an "older first time mom" - I had my third and last 3 weeks before my 39th. Now at nearly 42 I wish I were 5 years younger b/c maybe just maybe we'd leave the door open for a fourth.

So - the only reason I would have started sooner (and #1 son took a while due to infertility issues) is that I didn't know I'd want more than 2. I always thought I'd be career driven - but I'm not. I like my job but it's just a job - working keeps me sane but my family makes me happy.

That said - I'm constantly exhausted - the reason we're not leaving the door open at 42 is b/c we're broke, we have one child w/some health issues and the risks at my age are scary for us - and well - we don't want to be retired and still helping pay for college.

I'm very happy I was 38 when I had our son. Of course I'm tired, but most of the parents I know are much younger and they don't seem to have any more energy than I do. I learned a great deal from my late 20's to my late 30's the most important being how to relax. Life should be fun. I knew that in my 20's but didn't always act on it. Now I do. We dance every day, make up songs, paint and bake cookies and make a beautiful mess. I'm in my 40's, work outside of my home full time (out of necessity) and haven't experienced a huge drop in energy (a drop in energy in my 30's would have sent me to doctor!) We take good care of our health so perhaps that is one key. We also have more money now which has made private school within our reach, something that would not have been possible when we were younger. Most importantly my husband and I have a very strong marriage, we understand our strengths and weaknesses and have more patience with each other and our son. Every age has a unique blessing to offer both parent and child. For us, we feel blessed that our son came when he did.

I'm always baffled when this is positioned as a "choice" like choosing when to buy a house or leave the city for the suburbs. I would like to have a child now if I could - but its the relationship part of it, the uncontrollable part of it - that is just not coming together. Sometimes late motherhood just happens to a woman, because she hasn't found someone she'd want as the father of her child.

I had my first baby one month before my 41st birthday. It was a good decision for me...but probably not for everyone.

Everyone ages differently. At 41, I've got high energy, I'm happy and fulfilled with a great business. My husband and I are emotionally and financially stable enough to spend lots of time with our son. Our baby is a happy little guy.

If I would have had kids earlier, I probably wouldn't have been ready. I was too focused on career and myself. At 41, I'm ready!

I say let each couple make their own decision...and let's not judge. Some people are ready at 20, and others of us are late bloomers. Listen to what your body and instinct tell you.

At 46 my "new" husband and I are attempting to conceive again after a miscarriage. I have two children from a previous marriage both born before I was 30. In my profession, none of my female peers had children before 35 due to the financial and career difficulties inherent to the profession.

Growing up in the 70's I was brainwashed by the feminist movement into believing that motherhood was unrewarding and that your career would lead to ultimate bliss. I was shocked that I enjoyed motherhood more than my career and regret that I had to work so much (due to student loans and financial stress) while I was raising my kids.

My new husband in 51 and is devastated that he has nearly missed the boat on fatherhood. His issues were more relationship than financial. My experience leads me to believe that one should just say to hell with it all and jump into the parenthood abyss and keep the faith that we are designed and intended to reproduce our species and that God and nature will step in to guide us on the path.

I'm doing a speech on this in school.
I have to write it on why i think it is wrong to have children really old (like over 60)
I dont know anything about this sorta thing though because at 14 I'm obviously not an old parent- or a parent at all.
Are there many disadvantages to being an old parent?

I am developing a website for older parents. Please send any information, topics, and issues you would like to have included.

Thank you

I would like older parents to send me information for a resource website for them. Address is:
theolderparent@gmail.com. Web address:Theolderparent.com