MEET ROSE LEWIS, SINGLE, WORKING MOTHER--AND AUTHOR

Posted by: Cathy Arnst on May 14

If you have a child adopted from China, I guarantee you own a copy of I Love You Like Crazy Cakes, By Rose Lewis, a beautiful picture book for children age 3-6 about a single mother’s journey to China to adopt her daughter. Crazy Cakes, published in 2000, was Rose’s first book, written evenings after her own Chinese daughter, Ming, went to bed. Back then she worked as a news producer at Channel 5 in Boston.
Ming is now 11, and in 2002 Rose switched careers—she is now media relations manager at the renowned Lahey Clinic outside of Boston. She has also just published a sequel to Crazy Cakes, titled Every Year on Your Birthday, about her daughter’s first five birthday celebrations. Both books are illustrated by Jane Dyer , and I highly recommend both, whether or not your child is from China.

I talked to Rose recently about how she manages a child, a job and a writing career, all on her own:

Why did you decide to adopt?

I was approaching 40. I had been in a long term relationship that didn’t work out and ended when I was 38, and I promised myself if I wasn’t married in the next two years I would have a child on my own. I couldn’t see myself going through life without a child. For me, adoption was the best option. I thought there were plenty of children out there who need a loving parent.
I came home with Ming in Nov. 1996, when she was 7-1/2 months old. It’s the best thing I ever did. She is extraordinary. She makes my life infinitely more interesting. I’d love for her to have a father and I think she would love that too, but for now we’re doing just fine.

How difficult was it to adjust your work life after adopting your daughter?
I was working for Channel 5 in Boston at the time as a producer. It was very different after I got Ming. It was difficult to work overtime and stick around all the time like I did before. My priorities shifted. I no longer wanted to come in on weekends. I realized that that news buzz and the stress of it all wasn’t the best mix with being a single parent.
I had been there 13 years, and I stayed another five years after I got Ming. Then I found a great job at Lahey where I could still work with the media but not under the same deadlines and stress. I still get to work with print reporters and producers, so it was a very good change.

What inspired you to write a book?
I had written a piece a year after Ming came home called “Adoption One Year Later.” I sent it to the New Yorker, the New York Times and the Boston Globe but it was rejected. The next year I started to write “Adoption Two Years Later.” I can still see myself sitting in my bedroom writing it. I just kept going and going, and I pulled out all my photographs and it just sort of clicked.
I realized that there wasn’t a book out there that said what I wanted to say. I also wanted Ming to have something that, God forbid, anything happened to me, she would know how much I love her. As a single parent you always worry about that.
I just started writing and rewriting and rewriting. I wrote it like I would write a broadcast story, where you’re really trying to write to the pictures. All but two or three of the illustrations are based on photographs I gave to the illustrator, Jane Dyer.
I always loved Jane’s illustrations and I looked at who published her books. Little Brown stuck out because it was in Boston. I sent it to a wonderful editor who was willing to take a chance, and it came out two years later.

How long did it take to write?
A very long time, with a lot of editing. You don’t sleep much, you just do it. If you think about it too long you won’t do it.

Why did you decide to write a follow-up book?
I had more to say. People wanted to know what happened to the little girl in the book.The new book starts “Every year on your birthday I think about the day you were born.” And then it goes on to describe what we did on the first birthday, and the second up through age five. I finished it in 2001 but Jane was backed up with other books, so it took us five years to finish it.

Was the second book easier?
Oh no, it was much, much harder. At first I tried to write one that would include the other girls adopted with her ( In China you always adopt with a group of other families). That was rejected by my publisher. Then I decided that I do best when I write from my own experience, and I decided to write about our celebrations. I went through 20 drafts.

How do you manage a job, a child and a writing career?
I have terrific parents that live nearby. They would have her every day if they could. And the job I have now is much more forgiving if I need to take a morning off. This job has its own demands—I’m on call weekends and nights—but I’m not under deadline stress.

What advice do you have for others who may be thinking about writing a book, or having a child on their own?
When you want to do something you just have to go for it. I did both books without an agent. I always figure, ‘There’s a good chance they’ll say no but they might say yes. How do you know until you try?’
As far as being a single parent, the pleasures of the job far outweigh the stresses. Again, if you want to do it don’t look back, and don’t let people discourage you. And don’t assume you need a lot of money. If you sit around and think about it too long you’ll never do it. If you really want a child, then start the process now.

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I couldn't agree more. If anyone is interested about adopting from China, the Families with Children from China website is a good place to start. If you're single and thinking about starting a family on your own, the organization Single Mothers by Choice has a lot of useful information. Like Rose says--if you want it, go for it, and don't let anyone talk you out of it. As I always say about being a single parent, my only regret is that I didn't do it sooner.

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