Let Our Children Play!

Posted by: Cathy Arnst on October 09

Every parent I know bemoans the wealth of activities our kids are signed up for, but we don’t do anything about it, convinced as we are that if our 8-year-olds don’t take violin lessons or French classes or soccer camp or whatever they will never get into a decent college. Turns out we may be doing them more harm than good. A report just released by the American Academy of Pediatrics says that what children really need is unstructured playtime, just like most of us had. All those enrichment activities and educational videos are just stressing out the kids, not to mention their parents. The Academy says children should be allowed to develop their imaginations by playing with such simple toys as blocks and dolls, or just tumbling around with their parents.

The report, written by a committee of leading pediatricians, cites numerous studies about the benefits of unstructured play: it helps children become creative, discover their own passions, develop problem-solving skills, relate to others and adjust to school settings. A lack of spontaneous play can lead to obesity and depression for many children, it warns. Sure, enrichment tools and organized activities can be beneficial “but should not be viewed as a requirement for creating successful children.” And any such activities must be balanced with plenty of free play time.

I love this message. I cannot tell you how many times I have felt guilty about not getting my daughter enrolled in more activities—and she already takes violin, ballet and swimming lessons! Nevertheless, I worry that I haven’t signed her up for Mandarin classes, given that she’s adopted from China, or that I don’t buy her math enrichment computer games. I’m clearly not alone. Just listen to this mother, from an AP story on the report:

Jennifer Gervasio has a 5-year-old son and 3-year-old daughter involved in preschool three mornings a week, plus T-ball and ballet for each one day a week. That’s a light schedule compared to her kids’ friends, and Gervasio said her son in particular has trouble finding buddies who are free to come over and just play. “There’s just such a huge variety of things you can do for your kids if you have the resources, you almost feel, ‘Why not?’ ” said Gervasio, of Wilmette, Ill. “There is a part of me that would worry if I don’t sign my son up for some of these things; will he not be on par with the other kids?”

Hopefully this report will make all of us overly-ambitious parents take a step back and remember our own childhoods.

For tips from the report on how to emphasize free playtime (because I think a lot of us have forgotten) keep reading. And if you’d like a copy of the report, click here. There is also a companion volume on helping your teenager through the college application with a minimum of stress. I’d like to know how they accomplish that one!

From the report: How to emphasize free play time

• Free play should be promoted as a healthy and essential part of childhood.

• Overuse of "passive entertainment" -- including television and computer games -- should be avoided.

• "True toys" including dolls and blocks should be emphasized to allow children to use their imaginations fully.

• Pediatricians should help parents evaluate claims by marketers about products or programs designed to produce "super children."

• Spending time together talking and listening rather than loading kids up with extracurricular activities can help parents serve as role models and prepare children for success.

• Parents should be encouraged to avoid conveying an unrealistic expectation that every child needs to excel in many areas to be a success.

• Pediatricians should assess patients for symptoms of stress, including anxiety, that might stem from being overscheduled with activities.

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