Posted by: Toddi Gutner on February 06
When I came home late Saturday night from 4-day business trip to Puerto Rico with the Belizean Grove, I had some concerns about what I would find. Usually when I leave my husband Neil alone with our two boys, the house looks like a hurricane hit it when I return. But after enough ranting and raving about that, this time I was pleasantly surprised: the toys were in their bins, the dishes were clean and in the cupboard, and the laundry was in the basket (not the floor).

The surprise comes because he doesn’t have many role models for juggling kids and career. I did a quick search for on the web and most of what came up was website and blog support specifically for professional women, like BlueSuitMom.com and MotherAtWork, for stay at home dads, like RebelDad and for working parents but zippo for working dads.
Granted, I know women (including myself) do most of the day-to-day stuff for the kids, but I don’t think it is solely the fault of the fathers. Lois Scott, ceo of a Chicago-based investment banking firm, Scott Balice Strategies, commented on our blog that “interestingly, it is not just the moms that want this level of flexibility and choice about their working lives, it’s the dads too.”Another blog I ran across DowntownWomen’s Club, also wrote that work life balance is not just a woman’s issue.
It reminds me of chat I had with Gloria Steinem a few years ago when I asked her how she felt about the state of women in the workplace. I was surprised at the time by her answer. She said that until professional men feel comfortable to express their need for a work/life balance, as women have begun to do, then they are unable to contribute more at home even if they might want to. Time for a working dad’s magazine?
I thought the readers might like to know about a few good resources for working dads out there including:
- Interactive Dad Magazine (great online magazine)
http://www.interactivedadmagazine.com/
- The GoodFather Gift CD-ROM (teaches new and expecting dads baby skills to mobster parody)
http://www.drmoz.com/goodfather.html
- New Dad Forum (free forum for new dads and grandfathers)
http://www.drmoz.com/forum/
Hope it helps,
Jason
I actually was shocked when I found out that I was gonna be a father in December 2004 and I immediately went looking for books and/or magazines for dads. There are scads of resources out there for moms, but not much out there for the guys who are comitted to make sure they do the dad thing right. The vast majority of the books that ARE out there are written with a tongue-in-cheek tone that assumes most men have barely progressed past adolesence in maturity or common sense, with themes like "How to change the baby without dropping your beer."
The only place I've found honest, real, and relevant advice on fatherhood has been from the many online blogs out there like RebelDad, DaddyTypes, Dadtalk, LaidOffDad, and others. Hopefully some media mogul will realize that there is a vast untapped market of men who really are interested in being good fathers.
Toddi- I've noticed that some milennium dads use an online community to air their "balancing " problems and to get feedback. After reading your blog posting I referred back to an online community of which I'm a member and noticed 2 postings of work at home dads, about balancing the work life equation! MRG
What comes first, the realization on the part of men that they need balance too, or the media support? I think when it comes to balance for men, they think of balance of responsibilities between husband and wife (if the wife is lucky). So while Neil might be a mensch, I think he's one of few. Unfortunately a Working Dad's magazine would fail. How about a Working Family magazine??
How about a men's magazine for fathers? Oddly enough, my friends and I are launching one this week called THE FATHER LIFE. Website is http://www.thefatherlife.com.
I stumbled across this post/thread while doing some last minute research.
Enjoy! -Ben Murphy, Founder/Publisher, ben@thefatherlife.com
It is interesting how few resources there are out there for fathers who are trying to balance their desire to succeed at work and their desire to be the best possible dad they can be.
You might want to check out www.ceodad.com. There is a radio talk show tied to the site that might be interesting to working dads.
My brother's kids are extremely lucky. He has an internet business with an office at home. He is a working stay-at-home dad and loves every minute of it. He plays an active part in every aspect of their little lives, from changing diapers to taking the kids to buy clothes. He just learnt as he went along, without any help from websites or magazines. I suppose some support would have made things easier.
Hello,
I would like to share information with you about a revolutionary book about dads written for moms.
The Modern Mom’s Guide to Dads by Jesse Jayne Rutherford & Hogan Hilling (Cumberland House, September 2007). Here are two links to the book
:http//wwwcumberlandhousecom/BOOKS/modernmomsguidetodads.asp
www.momsguidetodads.com.
If you would like to receive an official press release announcing the books debut in September, please reply to my email address hilling@roadrunner.com and include your complete contact information.
Sincerely,
Hogan Hilling
Author
I am a dad who is active in his children's lives (I have 6, ranging from 2 1/2 to 20 years). I am a creative writer looking for venues but have not yet been fortunate enough to garner enough work to turn it into an at-home career. Therefore, I trudge off to work for 'the Man', leaving my wife to handle all the real work and battle with the kids. It makes me jealous; I'd give anything to be in her shoes or at the least, be there to help her through the day. When the better-paying assignments come in, I'll try to give up 'the day job' (which is actually 12 noon - 9pm, to be honest). Until then, I'll clean up 'kid fluids' and help with the dishes as much as I can.
"A Father's Right" by Anthony Gallo @ Barnes&Noble.com, Amazon.com, 1800 AUTHORS. This comment is toward Barack Obama's Fathers Day speech. He only spoke of the fathers that are not involved in their childrens lives. How about the fathers that are discriminated against in the family court system, that want to be there but can not, because of incompetence and ignorance that goes along with the family courts. I have a solution for Obama's family structured plan. Fix the problem within the courts towards fathers and you will see more fathers sticking around to take on the responsiblities as a parent. It's the discrimination we face within the system - that's the problem Obama. Hold women responsible when they make false allegations. Fix the child support issue. Create more programs for men in need of support, rather than ignore these issues I say address them!
Anthony Gallo
Wow Jon!! As a wife, I think it is wonderful that you’re active in your children's lives! I put my professional career on hold to raise my child; I think your comments would make any women proud. I am inspired by a man who appreciates the demanding job of a mother…in return that makes us want to appreciate the demanding job of a hardworking loving father, which it sounds like you are. Helping with the kid fluids and helping with the dishes is a very sexy and helpful thing that most hardworking mothers love and appreciate. When my husband comes home and helps with the dishes or tidies up the kitchen, and offers me some “ME” time…I feel rejuvenated! And in return I am a better mother, a happy wife, a playful mate. And I am excited to give him some “ME” time as well-but usually he’s more inclined to want to spend time with his family…he suggests going out for dinner or going to a family event…Supportive partners is the key to success in parenting and relationships.From a content wife, Tonya
Wow Jon!! As a wife, I think it is wonderful that you’re active in your children's lives! I put my professional career on hold to raise my child; I think your comments would make any women proud. I am inspired by a man who appreciates the demanding job of a mother…in return that makes us want to appreciate the demanding job of a hardworking loving father, which it sounds like you are. Helping with the kid fluids and helping with the dishes is a very sexy and helpful thing that most hardworking mothers love and appreciate. When my husband comes home and helps with the dishes or tidies up the kitchen, and offers me some “ME” time…I feel rejuvenated! And in return I am a better mother, a happy wife, a playful mate. And I am excited to give him some “ME” time as well-but usually he’s more inclined to want to spend time with his family…he suggests going out for dinner or going to a family event…Supportive partners is the key to success in parenting and relationships.From a content wife, Tonya
In this blog, BusinessWeek’s Lauren Young, Cathy Arnst, Diane Brady, Karyn McCormack, Anne Newman, Mauro Vaisman, Lourdes L. Valeriano, and Joy Katz, Mark Hyman, along with freelance writer Savita Iyer-Ahrestani, lead a broad discussion of the issues and day-to-day concerns of working parents, offering up interviews with work/life experts, examinations of relevant research, and their personal accounts of bouncing between separate, sometimes conflicting worlds.