Posted by: Karyn McCormack on July 23
This post is from Lourdes L. Valeriano, who writes while on vacation.
My fourteen-year-old is at sleepaway camp, and I've been enjoying her absence--and my respite from motherhood.
Make no mistake. I'm crazy about my daughter. She's lovely--for a teenager. Still, I'm thrilled at not having to pick up after her, keep tabs on her, and nag her to make her bed or put away the dishes. I also welcomed the absence of the guilt I usually feel when I get home from work well after dinner time, as I invariably do a few days a week.
But my little bubble of contentment was deflated a bit when I logged on to the Yahoo group for parents of kids going to my daughter's camp. Usually an invaluable--and comforting--tool, providing information, insider tips, and even hand-me-down camp uniforms, the online forum last week raised the perfect-mother bar a notch just as I was trying to settle into the space of my daughter's and my mutual independence.
There on my screen was a lively discussion on care packages.
"If you can, try to send a couple of packages," said one post. "The kids love receiving them, and it's a tiny piece from home. I went to Michaels (crafts store) and found a container of glow stick bracelets....You could send bubbles from the dollar store, enuf (sic) for the cabin, or Tootsie pops, or something that won't melt in the mail."
"I sent silly (really silly) things from the dollar store that I was not sure would go over well, but the boys loved them," said another post. "Sidewalk chalk in glow in the dark colors, glow in the dark Ping Pong balls, water balloons (big hit), glasses with nose and mustaches, squirt guns, candy, cookies, brownies, these ridiculous marshmallow 'farm animals,' glow sticks...the whole she-bang was only $30."
Said a third: "Sent enough water bottles (from the dollar store), paint pens, stickers, etc., and one of their cabin nights was spent decorating their water bottles take home...while they munched on snacks and treats that were also in the box."
Continue reading "Camp Care Packages: To Send or Not to Send?"
Posted by: Lauren Young on July 18
I am a believer in fate. Although I am not particularly religious, I do think that everything happens for a reason. In my case, a traumatic medical experience brought my family into the fold of a wonderful, diverse, and loving community we would never have discovered otherwise.
When our son was born in October 2004 with a giant congenital nevus covering 80% of his back and a bunch of smaller moles (a.k.a. "satellites") all over his tiny body, I had no idea what it was, what caused it, or what complications could arise from this bizarre skin condition. All we had to go on was what the attending pediatrician at the hospital told us: Giant nevi (that's plural for "nevus") are extremely rare—about 1 in 500,000—and neurological complications are possible. It turns out that I was extremely lucky to have such a knowledgeable doc—I’ve heard war stories from new parents who were told that their child will die from a nevus by age 2.
Little did I know that a whole world connecting people touched by giant nevi existed online. Three days later we met with Dr. Seth Orlow, a pediatric dermatologist at NYU who specializes in moles. He was the one who suggested we check out the Nevus Outreach website.
Fast forward to 2008: Last week, my husband, son and I went to the Nevus Outreach 2008 conference in Dallas, which brought together some 340 people touched by a giant nevus. There were more than 100 kids and 25 adults with giant nevi in attendance, as well as people who hail from Norway, Mexico, China, and even Tasmania. There we were in one room—Muslims, Christians, Jews, Native Americans, Europeans, Asians, and even a former Major League Baseball player—brought together by something exceptionally bizarre and rare. You can read about another family’s experience at the conference here.
As for my family, well, we were so busy having fun hanging out with the other attendees, learning from some of the top doctors and researchers, and chasing Leo, now almost 4, in and out of the hotel pool that I barely had time to shower or sleep. A lot of tears were shed, but we also laughed a lot.
In our day-to-day lives we are blessed with like-minded people: friends, family, and colleagues who are extremely supportive, but nothing can compare to the connection you get with people who know exactly what you are going through. So while the conference wasn’t exactly a vacation, the experience filled a void in my life. I plan to tap our new friends in the months to come as my son faces several more surgeries.
Now I have this weird, little, alternative family. They might be different from me, as well as spotty, but in my heart there is no blemish.
Several of my friends who have adopted children have bonded with folks who adopted from the same country. Fellow Working Parents blogger Cathy Arnst fits into this category. Do you have some oddball to connection to a world you never imagined? If so, please describe your experience, and why the bond exists.
Posted by: Anne Newman on July 17
The cardiologist’s office was a bit cramped: My 92-year-old dad was on the examining table, my 10-year-old son and I shared a seat nearby, and my 84-year-old mother listened from a corner chair. But the news was fine, the doctor welcoming, my son attentive, and my anxiety fading. We still had to time to grab a pizza before I logged on to an evening shift editing for BusinessWeek. Thanks to technology and understanding bosses 700 miles away in New York, it looks like I can keep up with work while arranging for my youngest to spend a longer vacation than usual this summer with his aging grandfather.
Call us the “stretch generation,” not so much squeezed by the needs of our elders and children but stretched among them. With 82 years between the youngest and oldest in my immediate family, it’s impossible to predict what each day will bring: a water shoe forgotten at the river camp where my son is having a blast, or advice from the cardiologist to junk the cane my father rarely uses and rely instead on a rolling walker to better prevent him from falling. I’m far from alone, as New York Times reporter Jane Gross chronicles in her recently launched blog, “The New Old Age".
So where does work fit in? Fortunately, I’ve worked most of my parenting life for a company recognized by Working Mother as among the top 10 on the magazine’s annual list of the 100 Best Companies for Working Mothers. More than 14 years ago I left a job I loved as a full-time reporter for The Wall Street Journal to spend more time with our first-born, a financial sacrifice my husband and I have been able to manage. I switched gears into the more predictable hours of copyediting, but turned down an offer from Barron’s, the Journal’s sister publication. Why? Dow Jones couldn’t match the offer from BusinessWeek, owned by The McGraw-Hill Companies Inc: full benefits for part-time work. Through more than a decade of booms and bust, the Internet revolution, the shrinking publishing industry, and the exploding blogosphere, I’ve worked for people who have shown what, by most accounts, seems an uncommon sensitivity to the demands of family and personal life. My colleagues, meanwhile, have worked remotely while attending to adoptions, graduate courses, young children--all while polishing skills and scrambling to stay abreast of our fast-changing world of online publishing.
It's time now to call into another staff meeting about the latest development in our online technology (if only that heavy breather somewhere among our bureaus would put the call on mute!). My son is in on the river, the parents readying for another doctor's appointment. And we'll have plenty of time to talk with the doctor before I log on for tonight's editing.
Reader, is your job family friendly? If not, what more could your bosses do?
Posted by: Mauro Vaisman on July 14
If you ever take your young kids to a restaurant, you will understand why the American Academy of Pediatrics is recommending that kids as young as 8 might benefit from Lipitor or other cholesterol lowering drugs if they have high levels of LDL cholesterol.
I support prevention. We don't want our kids to be a heart attack ready to happen. But how about starting prevention at an earlier age?
First, lets start with kids meals in restaurants.
American kids are trained very early in life that restaurant menu choices for them are: chicken fingers, macaroni and cheese, hamburgers and hot dogs. Some of these great American delicacies served in restaurants taste as good as the color Crayons that accompany them.
Those are OK meals for once in a while. I am a big proponent that you can eat anything, but do it in moderation.
My kids, (and I bet many other kids) would much rather have a nice grilled salmon, some sushi, or a delicious plate of chicken tikka masala instead of frozen breaded deep-fried chicken with deep-fried frozen french fries.
And I want to pay the less expensive $5.95 for that smaller portion of good food, since I pay $15 to $20 for my meal.
So I am asking restaurants around the U.S. and the world (because, unfortunately, we are exporting this habit) to give our kids more choices. You can keep those trans fat free chicken fingers on the menu, but start serving half portions of your regular menu for kids 12 and under.
Parents can also do their part at home. You will be surprised with the meals your kid might enjoy. My children will eat Pad Thai, curries and Greek food!
Parents, Restaurant owners and Chefs: I want to hear from you. Send us a note with your new menu choices for kids. You are the ones that can make a difference in the health of our children.
Posted by: Karyn McCormack on July 11
This post is from Savita Iyer.
My friend Christine Jullienne called me in a bit of a panic a few days before our childrens' school shut for the summer. Could my husband – who is staying in The Netherlands through the vacation – feed the family cat, Frimousse, while the Julliennes went for their annual holiday in France?
Because Christine did not call way in advance to make arrangements, the kennel Frimousse usually goes to was totally full, leaving the family with no option but to either leave the cat in a kennel in Amsterdam ("quite out of our way and in any case, fully booked as well," Christine said) or to take her with them. The latter really wasn't an option since the Julliennes needed to do their 1,200-kilometer drive to France in one shot, and, according to Christine, "the cat panics after so many hours in a car and might try and escape."
Fortunately for her, my husband has no problems feeding Frimousse over the summer. But Christine has realized, she said, that even in a small country like Holland, kennels fill up super fast during vacation periods, and she should have made her arrangements at least a month ago, if not more. She has not lived in Holland long enough to set up a support system of pet sitters or people willing to help.
Continue reading "Family Vacations: A Pet Peeve?"
