As a working mom with two small children, I'm frequently asked if I work five days a week. The answer? Depends who's asking.

If it's my mother-in-law, the answer is no. I tell her that I usually go into the office four days a week. That's actually the answer I give most often these days -- at the playground, dropping my older daughter off at school, or chatting casually with friends over the weekend.

But if it's a work contact, colleague, or a social acquaintance wondering if I'm still a serious financial writer, my answer is a firm, "Yes, I'm full-time at BusinessWeek Online."

Both answers are true. Technically my arrangement is known as flex-time -- I manage my own time and, as long as I get my work done and my editors know how to reach me, I don't think they really care where I am from 9 a.m. to 5 p.m. In fact, most of the time I assume they would rather not know why, for example, I'm rushing out the door at 2 p.m. on a Wednesday or e-mailing after midnight on a Thursday.

LAP TIME.  Most weeks you probably can't find me sitting at my desk in the office more than 30 hours. But I work from home. Oh boy, do I work from home.

Right now, for example, it's 10 a.m. on a Sunday morning, and I can hear my 23-month-old squawking as my husband attempts the near-impossible task of entertaining her and her 5-year-old sister with the same game. She has just abandoned him and toddled into the home office, where she knows that if I'm typing at the computer, she's usually welcome to sit on my lap for a few minutes. I know she'll soon tire of this and wander off to torment her older sister some more.

It's not always pretty, but the balance is working for me so far. I'm lucky to have a husband who has flexibility with his job also. And it helps that I work on the Web -- where my bosses know the power of mobile computing and value employees who don't need to be kept on a short leash.

SELF DEFINITION.  Still, as simple as the arrangement seems to me, it's hard to describe in a sentence or two. And most people want clear-cut distinctions for working moms, which boils down to part-time or full-time. Too often, it seems like the subtext of the question of whether I work five days a week is, "Are you a devoted mother who puts your children first?" (and thus could only work part-time), or, "Are you a serious professional?" (and thus must be chained to your desk 80 hours a week).

One of the beauties of my work arrangement -- and the one that more and more of my friends with small children are trying to create for themselves -- is that I can try to be both. I get the flexibility to plan my work week so that I can attend my daughters' doctors' appointments, dance recitals, and the occasional afternoon play date. But I also get to keep a full-time salary and the status and potential for advancement that goes along with it.

As an extra perquisite, I get the freedom to define myself in different ways depending on what I'm doing and who's asking.

SHORT-SHRIFTED ROLES.  The downside is that I have to be a lot of things to a lot of people at the same time. Of course, I can't be both "Involved Mom" and "Dedicated Employee" all day every day. The roles are in too great a conflict for me to manage them simultaneously for more than a few minutes at a time. In fact, if you want to hear a funny story or two, just ask any working parent for their own real-life examples of the aforementioned.

Worst of all -- some other roles I've signed on for -- "Loving Wife," "Loyal Best Friend," and "Devoted Daughter" -- sometimes get short shrift.

And in today's high-tech, high-stress world, it's hardly the working moms who feel all the pressure. Most dads also long for more flexibility at work. The truth is that most women I know are struggling to be too many things to too many people -- whether they're employed part-time, full-time, or not at all.

COVER STORY.  In fact, I think being a full-time working mom with two young children allows me the occasional pass from family members and friends if I slip up -- never actually sending out holiday cards, for example, or failing to get birthday presents in the mail to all the nieces and nephews.

But the truth is, if I didn't work, I couldn't do it all anyway. So for me, working full-time, flex-time gives me the freedom, financial security, and sense of accomplishment I need to keep a lot of balls in the air. It's an opportunity I know a lot of moms would relish and that more companies would benefit from if they would only give it half a try.