Well, I'd like to start this entry by expressing how much I admire the women I came to know at Michigan who were able to be at peace throughout the entire MBA experience, accepting all along that their significant other's career ambitions would blaze the path of their personal destiny. I guess I spent a good deal of time trying to be that way, although my inherent nature is actually quite the opposite. I can be rebellious for the sake of being rebellious and sometimes while I had no legitimate reason to do so, I'd place limits on how far I was willing to go for the sake of William's career.

Other times however, I tried my hardest to give my unconditional support. Having such opposing attitudes eventually caught up with me and caused some big problems during our final semester.

In late March I became tremendously apprehensive about moving to Seattle. My sister had just given birth to twin girls and I felt an overwhelming need to be by her side. Since William was well on his way to beginning his post-MBA career at Microsoft, I found myself extremely conflicted. I suddenly realized that I was about to sacrifice my personal dream – to raise a family close to my sister on the East Coast – for his dream of pursuing a successful career in the high tech industry on the West Coast. In my mind I started to focus solely on the conflict between these goals and the fact that they were hopelessly divergent. Both of our dreams were geographically dependent, and about 3,000 miles apart from each other!

For the next two months I found myself pondering this big unresolved issue my life. I wondered, do I have to give up on my dreams so that William can pursue his? What happens when partners have different goals? And the big one, why didn't I think of this before? I found this topic to be a controversial issue within my own support system. All the advice that I received was very much a reflection of the value systems and personal experiences of those from whom I sought counsel. In fact, I don't think anyone was able to be even slightly objective. Accordingly, I turned totally inward for answers to my dilemma.

Looking back at the whole MBA experience this is what I found – you can't predict how the pressures of grad school will affect your relationship. But I will venture to say that the pressure of business school will probably expose any existing cracks in the foundation of your relationship, just as any stressful event will. For us, business school exposed a general lack of agreement about our long-term future. Sure we had discussed it, but we never hashed out our differences, made the tough compromises, and committed to a common vision for our future.

Dina and William

At times the MBA process may force your partner to become shamelessly opportunistic in his or her quest to find a dream job (or any job, for that matter). I found from watching other couples go through the same experience that either one of two approaches work best. Either the significant other sets some firm parameters ahead of time and sticks by those throughout the entire process (for example, "we are moving back to NYC after this is done") or agrees to go with the flow the entire time, no matter where the flow leads (i.e., I just want you to get the best job you can out of school no matter where that is). I think where I personally went wrong was switching approaches very late in the game. Because of my true desire for William's happiness, I put a great deal of pressure on myself to be open minded, possibly too much so. But after the reality of the situation sunk in, I realized that I wasn't 100% comfortable with what I had agreed to do.

For your significant other's career, business school will be a milestone, a point from which to measure their professional life going forward. For me, moving to Michigan had the same impact. Although it wasn't a personal milestone, it was a time of intense personal transition, a point in which I will measure all things going forward (which is probably why I've chosen to write about it).

Dina and William at Microsoft

When William and I moved to Seattle, I did so with the full knowledge that I was willingly making a choice to relinquish my dream of living in the same city as my immediate family. I had to totally abandon this notion, which I had had all my life, and embrace an alternate future. This was not easy and I attribute the fact that I did this, willingly, to the strength of my love for my husband and my desire to continue our lives together. After months of toil, I decided to embrace a new life in Seattle. A life in which I would create new dreams for myself, dreams that fit into the context of our existing long-term relationship and the parameters that my commitment to him required.

As I write this final entry, I am celebrating our eight year wedding anniversary, my 32nd birthday, and the purchase of our new home in Seattle. I find myself much more at peace than I was during my experience at Michigan because I finally know that as we unpack our boxes, we are putting down roots. Roots that I am hoping will grow very deep. After so much moving around, I find that regardless of how far away I am from my friends and family, having a place to call home, possibly for the rest of our lives, is one amazing feeling. Also, being part of the Microsoft community is unique in today's economy. They treat their employees and their dependents like solid gold. So, after all my kicking and screaming about coming here (much the same way I did about going to Michigan), I have to admit that living here is beating my expectations.

	Dina Overlooking Seattle

I have really enjoyed writing these entries. My goal was to offer support to people in a similar situation and to perhaps offer some insight. For all of you "SOSers" out there I wish you good luck. And of course I have to take this opportunity to give a piece of unsolicited advice. I know it's easy for me to say now but here it is: Don't take the business school experience too seriously. It is really easy to lose perspective living in the B-school bubble. Believe it or not, life will go back to normal after your significant other graduates.