Catch F-2 for Spouses of Foreign Students

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"They are these highly professional, highly skilled people who might have been earning really handsome salaries—and you're asking them to do volunteer work?"

Yet partners who have done it say that getting involved in something—volunteering, the partners club, language classes, hobbies—is crucial to staving off feelings of displacement and loneliness (see BusinessWeek.com, 3/14/05, "MBA Family Values"). Using free time to develop or broaden skills can also make it easier to reenter the workforce.

Opportunity Time

Volunteering doesn't have to mean ladling out soup, though. It could mean volunteer tutoring or a docent position at a local museum. Liron Aviv, who gave up her work as a social worker in Israel to join her husband, Eitan Ahimor, a first-year student at Cornell's Johnson School, was able to find a volunteer position at Cornell's Organizational Development Services. "The thought of putting my work aside for a few years was a scary thing," she says. "But after we got here, when we saw how many opportunities there were, it wasn't as difficult as I thought it would be."

Many B-schools will also allow partners to audit classes for free, with the instructor's permission. Though they aren't eligible for credit, Thakur tells partners they could always talk up what they have learned in future job interviews. Meeting other partners and students at social events can also be a useful way to expand your professional network.

Thomas Garde quit his job in France to be with his partner, a first-year student at Wharton. Because he is unable to work on his tourist visa (the U.S. doesn't issue J-2 or F-2 visas to unmarried partners), Garde decided to study Spanish and marketing through correspondence courses and to get involved in some of Wharton's student clubs. "I am not considering this choice as a painful sacrifice but as a thrilling opportunity to evolve personally and professionally," he says.

Preparation Is Key

And while the rigorous nature of B-school means that couples often spend more time apart than together, partners insist that it's not all bad. "Being away from my country and spending the first two years of my marriage here in Boston has been a great bonding experience for both of us," says Croes. "We do not have family or lifelong friends around, so we have to support each other."

One way to make the transition easier, partners say, is to get involved in the B-school decision-making process as early as possible, and to try and understand how going to B-school will affect both career plans. If a significant other from outside the U.S. is considering studying in the U.S. for business school, do research about what opportunities the school and the surrounding community have for partners. Go to local info sessions and, if possible, visit the campus. Partners might also want to discuss visa options with a lawyer. It might be possible to apply for a different visa class that would allow the partner to work or study.

"The reason why I'm not that frustrated is because this dream of his is something we've shared for a while," says Margarita Castro-Zarraga, whose husband, David Zarraga, is a first-year student at Northwestern's Kellogg School of Management. Castro-Zarraga, a doctor in the Philippines, decided to use her first year in the States to have a baby before pursuing her residency, something she had planned to do anyway. "We had a five-year stretch to integrate this into our psyches," she says.

Miller is a reporter with BusinessWeek.com in New York.