Yes, it’s come to this. A Washington (D.C.) tech firm called Revolution Messaging has actually created drunkdialcongress.org, a site that randomly selects a member of Congress, phones his or her office, and lets you unleash a drunk dial “you won’t regret.”
Type in your phone number and not a second-and-a-half passes before your phone rings. “Hiiiaaay,” says a recording of a guy who sounds like he’s auditioning for Drunk History. He’s there to keep you occupied with a quick boozy spiel while the site is selecting and dialing Capitol Hill. A couple seconds later you find out which member you’re about to be connected with. Then it’s up to you.
Helpfully, drunkdialcongress.org offers talking points to help keep your rant focused: “You jerks are costing the country $12 million bucks per hour!” Or “My kids won’t stop yelling at me about camping!” Or my personal favorite, “I can’t watch the panda!” Cheers.
Of course, the chances that an actual member of Congress will answer the phone are precisely zero. So your heartfelt and carefully thought-out protest will go no further than the ears of the hapless intern unfortunate enough to pick up the phone. So that pretty much defeats the whole point and is kind of a buzzkill. Or at least it would be if you remember it in the morning.