TEA CEREMONY THE ACCIDENTAL OFFICE LADY By Laura J. Kriska Charles E. Tuttle 303pp $10.95 When Laura J. Kriska graduated from Denison University in the late 1980s, she faced the first challenge of adulthood: getting a job. She found one at Honda North America Inc. and before long was en route to Tokyo, where she understood she'd be something like an executive trainee. There, she got a rude awakening, involving both culture shock and duties she felt to be beneath her. Her book, The Accidental Office Lady, is an informative, if occasionally petulant, account of what it was like to be the first American woman ever employed at Honda Motor Co. (HMC) headquarters. In taking the assignment, Kriska saw herself as a nonconformist--her friends, after all, were getting jobs in advertising and investments in New York and Chicago. But such individualism isn't always appropriate in Japan, where Kriska quickly learned a fundamental proverb of social behavior: ''The nail that sticks up will be pounded down.'' And then there were the humiliations of unanticipated secretarial duties, having to wear a polyester uniform while male colleagues wore none, and serving tea as a major part of her job. At first, she responded with petty revolts. One day, for example, asked to mail a letter for her executive boss, she put the stamp on crooked--a no-no in this precision-oriented world. (The corporate mail carrier demanded she correct the mistake.) Such reactions occasionally make Kriska seem whiny and immature. Who hasn't had to put up with work that they have resented--or felt ill-at-ease in a new place? Moreover, she did have some remarkable experiences. After one corporate meeting, she was given a helicopter ride back to headquarters with Honda's president--an unusual event, since Japanese higher-ups seldom have contact with those lower in the hierarchy--and an emergency landing due to bad weather meant even more interaction with him. Later, asked to help out at a party at the home of company founder Soichiro Honda, she found herself sipping tea in the kitchen with his wife. Ultimately, Kriska's perseverance and partial adjustment lead to a blossoming professionalism--and she seems to have become a better person for her struggles. She moved on to more challenging work in public and employee relations, and as her grasp of Japanese and cultural sensitivity improved, she found herself able to negotiate tricky situations. She came to understand selflessness, or gaman, and began to work within the rules of Japanese corporate behavior. By organizing a ''quality circle'' of colleagues, she got the company to make uniforms for women optional at headquarters. And Kriska also made a mark by writing a visitors guide for American plant workers who were brought to Japan for training. Indeed, when her two-year assignment there ran out, Kriska found herself repeatedly postponing departure from Japan. Despite the unusual challenges, she learned what everyone must: how to get some of what you want out of work. By NANETTE BYRNES RELATED ITEMS PHOTO: Cover, `The Accidental Office Lady' Return to top of story

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