Q&A: 'AN UNWITTING COLLUSION BETWEEN MEN AND WOMEN AND EMPLOYERS'
James A. Levine is director of The Fatherhood Project, a New York-based research group, and co-author, with Todd L. Pittinsky, of Working Fathers: New Strategies for Balancing Work and Family (1997, Addison Wesley). He recently spoke with Business Week Associate Editor Keith Hammonds about the Daddy Trap. Here are excerpts of their conversation:
Q: We hear a lot about the many legitimate issues facing working mothers. Yet dads have a lot of the same problems. Why aren't they on the map?
A: The thing I'm so struck by is how much men keep this to themselves, and how surprised women are by men's level of stress. Most women really think that on a zero-to-10 scale of work-family stress, men are a two. At my seminars, women say to me, "I never realized this."
There's an unwitting collusion between men and women and employers. No one wants to put the issue on the table, so the assumption is perpetuated that this is a woman's issue. Those assumptions have eroded somewhat, but I'm still shocked at how pervasive they are.
Q: Are you saying that women actually help perpetuate the problem?
A: Women have a huge responsibility for this. [When her child gets sick, for example,] a wife will tend to make the assumption that it's her responsibility and that her workplace will be more understanding. She may well be right, but only because no one has tested it.... Women give men a double message: Be involved, but only up to a point.
Q: There appears to be far more angst among blue-collar dads than in the white-collar world. Why is that?
A: Those are the guys who have been the most ignored, and the most silent. They've been the group that the companies have tended to ignore but also those who tend to feel the most uncomfortable themselves stepping forward to voice their concerns. They're more constrained by macho stereotypes. That itself becomes a source of stress. There's a split between their public and private personae about fatherhood. In public, they're often not telling their mates about how much they're helping with parenthood.
Q: How much of this is a matter of dads' individual discomfort, and how much is a function of cultural rigidity?
A: There's plenty of cultural blame, too. It's really a strong mix between the culture and the individual. The culture of the organization tends not to recognize that the problem is there. The flip side is that men themselves are reluctant to come forward. Change starts in all these places. Someone's got to do something. Once somebody does, it's surprising how you can get recognition for the problem.
Q: So how can companies best address dads' work-life stress?
A: If you ask what's going to solve this problem, it's not throwing more money at men or giving them fewer hours. It's giving them more control over their hours. We need to create a workplace culture that respects their commitment to family and allows for some control over their job. Moreover, it's really important for companies to send out the message that we recognize men have these issues. That sends a signal for men to feel comfortable speaking up. The flip side is, when men start talking, word starts to filter up that this is acceptable.
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