HARVEY PITT: BETTER THE SECOND TIME
AGE
53
FAMILY
Wife at home; two grown children from first marriage, and two from second marriage
JOB
Securities lawyer and managing partner, Fried Frank Harris Shriver & Jacobson, Washington, D.C.
HOW THINGS WORK
Pitt was 21 when he married the first time, and 23 when his first child was born. Consumed by his career, he says, "I don't think I had an overwhelming amount of maturity and wisdom, but I had a lot of youth." He loved his kids, but between work and travel, he rarely was present at the kids' school events, for example. Following a divorce, he remarried at 38, a point at which he felt far more secure in his professional accomplishments. He's still an acknowledged workaholic, splitting his time between Washington and New York and logging 70 hours a week on the job. But he has made it a point to spend more time with his younger kids: Now, he doesn't go to the office on most weekends, and he takes time off to volunteer at his kids' schools.
HIS TAKE
"What's most important to me is that the children are happy, that they have the right set of values, and the right tools for themselves. But the one critical thing is, it's not about me anymore; it's only about them. They need more time than I was willing to give them when I was younger and striving to be who I ultimately became. What's of great consequence to me is the things I know I can impart to my children -- life perspective, religious, and moral perspective, which I think are exceedingly important.
"Even though I have now achieved a measure of stature and the like, the fact is, if you are successful, then there are demands on your time. If you are not only successful but successful in part because you're insecure, then it's not always easy to say I have more control. I've found this is something I had to work at. I still work very very hard, but I've made adjustments to my life that I would not have made in my 20s. When you're young, there's a narcissistic assumption that if you're not immortal, you at least will have more time than you know what to do with. But children don't, and if you don't find that time, you lose something precious. So finding balance between work on one hand, which gives me enormous amount of reward and intellect stimulation, and also being there for my childrem, which gives me an enormous feeling of importance in someone else's life, those are difficult balances.
"I enjoy making ice cream, and I have developed a reputation at my children's school as a fabulous ice-cream maker. So I go in once a semester for each child, and I have the kids help make ice cream. It's great fun. Last semester, I did this for my younger daughter, who just turned 7. She had a look of such pride on her face, as I told my corny jokes, and the kids ate their ice cream. The look in her eyes said, this is really great, that's my father. I'd be lying if I said that isn't a great feeling to have, and something I deprived myself of the first time. I forfeited a lot of time."
RELATED ITEMS
 - THE DADDY TRAP
- CHART: Dad's Dilemma
- JAMES F. HALPIN: WEEKEND COMMUTER
- DARIAN BERRY: DAY JOB, NIGHT DAD
- ERIC WEISLER: `NO BALANCE'
- VINCENT P. AUBRUN: BREADWINNER, FOR NOW
- CESAR GOMEZ: WORLDS APART
- ONLINE ORIGINAL: DONALD J. CARTY: THE BOSS MAKES TIME
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- ONLINE ORIGINAL: RICHARD JAWORSKI: FLEXIBILITY WORKS
- ONLINE ORIGINAL: KEN JOHNSON: HARDER TIMES AHEAD?
- ONLINE ORIGINAL: GIORGIO KULP: JEALOUS OF MOM
- ONLINE ORIGINAL: HARVEY PITT: BETTER THE SECOND TIME
- ONLINE ORIGINAL: Q&A: `AN UNWITTING COLLUSION BETWEEN MEN AND WOMEN AND EMPLOYERS'
- ONLINE ORIGINAL: SURVEY: WORK & FAMILY: HOW MEN AND WOMEN COMPARE
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- COMMENTARY: MEN: `COMING AROUND, BUT THEY'VE GOT A LONG WAY TO GO'
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