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THE GREAT OFF-WHITE WAY

Where seats are cheaper and theaters cozier

As a New York theatergoer, I'm often pelted by out-of-town friends and relatives with questions like: ''I'm coming to town next Saturday, can you get me two good orchestra seats to The Lion King?'' Emphatically not, and ditto for Cabaret, Chicago, Rent, and Ragtime. (Well, maybe a couple in the rear for the latter--a heck of a fine musical, by the way.) The best they can hope for, I explain, is standing room, which involves queuing up at the box office 60 to 90 minutes before it opens (usually 10 a.m.) and plunking down $20 or $25. Chicago offers day-of-performance orchestra seats for $20, but the line forms as early as 6:30.

If they're still listening, I steer them toward off- and off-off-Broadway, where the seats are cheaper (typically $25 to $50 off-, $10 to $20 off-off) and the theaters cozier. Bizarre? Incoherent? Boring? Sometimes it's all three. But off-Broadway can also be a bastion of tradition. Exhibit A: The Fantasticks (Sullivan Street Playhouse, 181 Sullivan St., 212 674-3838), which has mysteriously grown fresher over its 38 years. Among newer off-Broadway musicals, Dinah Was (Gramercy, 127 E. 23rd St., 212 777-4900) is a gritty biography of blues queen Dinah Washington, with roof-raising singing from Lillias White and good, dirty one-liners. Uptown, I Love You, You're Perfect, Now Change (Westside, 407 W. 43rd St., 212 315-2244) is a crowd-pleasing Revue about relationship rites. Its songs are witty, and the audience-recognition factor is so strong that you can hear couples hiss ''That's you!'' at each other all through it.

Of the new nonmusicals, the top pick is Collected Stories (Lucille Lortel, 121 Christopher St., 212 239-6200), a riveTing drama about the creative process, literary license, and betrayal, starring Uta Hagen. Other intriguing titles opening soon: Corpus Christi, Terrence McNally's Jesus drama (Manhattan Theatre Club, 131 W. 55th St., 212 581-1212); Impossible Marriage, by Pulitzer Prize winner Beth Henley, starring Holly Hunter (Laura Pels, 1530 Broadway, 212 869-8400); and This Is Our Youth, a lacerating comedy about trust-fund kids, moving from off-off- to off-Broadway Oct. 15 (Second Stage, 2162 Broadway, 212 787-8302).

Don't care for the traditional well-made play? Two of off-Broadway's longest-running shows dispense with words entirely. In its sixth year, Stomp (Orpheum, 126 Second Ave., 212 477-2477) is as noisy and jovial as ever, its eight dancer-acrobat-percussionists exploring the rhythmic and musical possibilities in trash cans, matchboxes, rubber tubes, and, yes, the kitchen sink. A few blocks away, Blue Man Group: Tubes (Astor Place, 434 Lafayette St., 212 254-4370) serves up a deranged new vaudeville involving, among other things, extraterrestrials experimenting on earthlings, regurgitation, audience-splattering Day-Glo paint, and toilet paper--lots of it. Bring kids, if possible.

NUN'S STORY. Blue Man Group is an ''interactive'' show, meaning audience members are encouraged to talk back, come onstage, and generally make asses of themselves. Most of these, like the stereotype-heavy Tony n' Tina's Wedding (St. Luke's Church, 308 W. 46th St., 212 239-6200), are more gimmick than inspiration. But Late Nite Catechism (also at St. Luke's) is both hilarious and insightful. A pseudo-Sunday school lecture by the world's toughest nun (played by co-author Maripat Donovan), it summons your worst suppressed memories of religious education and turns them into cathartic laughter.

If you're truly adventurous, go to a newsstand, grab a Time Out New York, turn to the off-off-Broadway listings, and pick out the weirdest title. You'll pay bottom dollar, and it may be great. Who needs The Lion King?

By Marc Miller



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