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TECHNO TACT
MISS MANNERS' BASIC TRAINING: COMMUNICATION Never fear. Judith Martin, writing as Miss Manners, the self-appointed guardian of American decorum, rides to the rescue with her latest book, Miss Manners' Basic Training: Communication. In this slim volume, all manner of mysteries are solved. May one fax a thank-you letter following a job interview, you wonder? Not if you're smart, Miss Manners answers. Is it rude to respond to a pager during a dinner party? Yes, the reader learns, unless one has alerted the host in advance. When is a handwritten thank-you note a must? Almost always, we're told. To fans of Miss Manners, chunks of this new book will seem familiar. But for uninitiated businesspeople in a hurry, this tome will be just the thing to alleviate anxiety about such recurring thorny issues as the proper use of speakerphones, automatic call-back functions, and computerized letters. Despite her avowed penchant for the quill pen, Miss Manners is quite au courant when she discusses ''Netiquette,'' for instance. Nevertheless, she notes that at the heart of electronic-era good manners lies an age-old question: how to deal with people who take advantage of open social access to make pests of themselves or to press unwanted attentions on others. One of her commonsense guidelines: Newcomers should study the habits of any chat group they wish to join and stay within the boundaries. ''Flaming'' messages are a big no-no, the cyberspace equivalent of ''shouting at passersby in the street,'' she writes. And if people refuse to follow the group's accepted norms of politeness, she says, they should be firmly escorted from the chat room and banned from returning. On a brighter note, Miss Manners brings hope for those burdened by a bewildering assault of E-mail. Impromptu missives such as ''congrats on the new job'' can be politely answered with a similarly brief E-mail note. Other rules to live by: ''No heavy emotions may be properly communicated through E-mail or bulletin boards--not to acquaintances and certainly not to strangers.'' In another boon to the overwhelmed, Miss Manners says it's O.K. to screen phone calls: This just transfers to answering machines the function once performed by butlers--seeing whether it's a convenient time to receive that call. Call waiting, however, gets a big ''thumbs down'' as being ruder than a busy signal: It ''wastes the time of someone already engaged in conversation.'' These and many other rules to live by are organized in easy-to-navigate chapters under headings ranging from ''the electronic word'' to ''the engraved word.'' New tools may require new rules, but Miss Manners does a witty and wry job of reminding us that the need for courtesy endures.
By SUSAN CHANDLER
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Updated June 15, 1997 by bwwebmaster
Copyright 1997, by The McGraw-Hill Companies Inc. All rights reserved.
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